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Punishments erode relationships and moral growth.

Alfie Kohn

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Alfie Kohn
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: October 15
Author
Teacher
Writer
Miami Beach
Florida
Punishments
Erode
Punishment
Relationships
Growth
Moral

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You have to give them unconditional love. They need to know that even if they screw up, you love them. You don't want them to grow up and resent you or, even worse, parent the way you parented them.
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In a word, learning is decontextualized. We break ideas down into tiny pieces that bear no relation to the whole. We give students a brick of information, followed by another brick, followed by another brick, until they are graduated, at which point we assume they have a house. What they have is a pile of bricks, and they don't have it for long.
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Very few things are as dangerous as a bunch of incentive-driven individuals trying to play it safe.
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Do rewards motivate people? Absolutely. They motivate people to get rewards.
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The race to win turns us all into losers.
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Sometimes we have to put our foot down, ... but before we deliberately make children unhappy in order to get them to get into the car, or to do their homework or whatever, we need to weigh whether what we're doing to make it happen is worth the possible strain on our relationship with them.
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Grades are a subjective rating masquerading as an objective evaluation.
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Children, after all, are not just adults-in-the-making. They are people whose current needs and rights and experiences must be taken seriously.
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Trying to be number one and trying to do a task well are two different things.
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The value of a book about dealing with children is inversely proportional to the number of times it contains the word behavior.
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To be well-educated is to have the desire as well as the means to make sure that learning never ends.
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Those who know they're valued irrespective of their accomplishments often end up accomplishing quite a lot. It's the experience of being accepted without conditions that helps people develop a healthy confidence in themselves, a belief that it's safe to take risks and try new things.
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We learn most readily, most naturally, most effectively, when we start with the big picture - precisely when the basics don't come first.
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To feel controlled is to lose interest.
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We can't value only what is easy to measure measurable outcomes may be the least important results of learning.
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Educational success should be measured by how strong your desire is to keep learning.
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If children feel safe, they can take risks, ask questions, make mistakes, learn to trust, share their feelings, and grow.
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When was the last time you spent the entire day with only 42 year olds?
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Educators remind us that what counts in a classroom is not what the teacher teaches it’s what the learner learns.
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In outstanding classrooms, teachers do more listening than talking, and students do more talking than listening. Terrific teachers often have teeth marks on their tongues.
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