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Unconditional parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason.

Alfie Kohn

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Alfie Kohn
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: October 15
Author
Teacher
Writer
Miami Beach
Florida
Unconditional
Parenting
Punishment
Rewards
Moving
Reason
Love
Punishments
Parenthood

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We can't value only what is easy to measure measurable outcomes may be the least important results of learning.
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There are different kinds of motivation, and the kind matters more than the amount.
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When test scores go up, we should worry, because of how poor a measure they are of what matters, and what you typically sacrifice in a desperate effort to raise scores.
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What can we surmise about the likelihood of someone's being caring and generous, loving and helpful, just from knowing that they are a believer? Virtually nothing, say psychologists, sociologists, and others who have studied that question for decade
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The race to win turns us all into losers.
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Trying to be number one and trying to do a task well are two different things.
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Someone who thinks well of himself is said to have a healthy self-concept and is envied. Someone who thinks well of his country is called a patriot and is applauded. But someone who thinks well of his species is regarded as hopelessly naïve and is dismissed.
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Saying you taught it but the student didn't learn it is like saying you sold it but the customer didn't buy it.
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When we do things that are controlling, whether intentional or not, we are not going to get those long-term outcomes.
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To be well-educated is to have the desire as well as the means to make sure that learning never ends.
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To control students is to force them to accommodate to a preestablished curriculum.
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Don't let anyone tell you that standardized tests are not accurate measures. The truth of the matter is they offer a remarkably precise method for gauging the size of the houses near the school where the test was administered.
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Educators remind us that what counts in a classroom is not what the teacher teaches it’s what the learner learns.
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If children feel safe, they can take risks, ask questions, make mistakes, learn to trust, share their feelings, and grow.
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If rewards do not work, what does? I recommend that employers pay workers well and fairly and then do everything possible to help them forget about money. A preoccupation with money distracts everyone - employers and employees - from the issues that really matter.
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Grades are a subjective rating masquerading as an objective evaluation.
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Do rewards motivate people? Absolutely. They motivate people to get rewards.
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Assessments should compare the performance of students to a set of expectations, never to the performance of other students.
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People will typically be more enthusiastic where they feel a sense of belonging and see themselves as part of a community than they will in a workplace in which each person is left to his own devices
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