Quote

You have to give them unconditional love. They need to know that even if they screw up, you love them. You don't want them to grow up and resent you or, even worse, parent the way you parented them.

Alfie Kohn

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Alfie Kohn
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: October 15
Author
Teacher
Writer
Miami Beach
Florida
Giving
Screws
Needs
Unconditional
Even
Worse
Way
Grow
Love
Parent
Grows
Give
Screw
Need
Resent

More quotes by Alfie Kohn

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When test scores go up, we should worry, because of how poor a measure they are of what matters, and what you typically sacrifice in a desperate effort to raise scores.
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Standardized testing has swelled and mutated, like a creature in one of those old horror movies, to the point that it now threatens to swallow our schools whole.
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Grades dilute the pleasure that a student experiences on successfully completing a task.
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Someone who thinks well of himself is said to have a healthy self-concept and is envied. Someone who thinks well of his country is called a patriot and is applauded. But someone who thinks well of his species is regarded as hopelessly naïve and is dismissed.
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If a child is off-task...mayb e the problem is not the child...maybe it's the task.
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Children learn how to make good decisions by making decisions, not by following directions.
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To be well-educated is to have the desire as well as the means to make sure that learning never ends.
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Trying to do well and trying to beat others are two different things. Excellence and victory are conceptually distinct . . . and are experienced differently.
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Being a team player should not imply a demand for simple obedience and conformity.
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We learn most readily, most naturally, most effectively, when we start with the big picture - precisely when the basics don't come first.
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Children, after all, are not just adults-in-the-making. They are people whose current needs and rights and experiences must be taken seriously.
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If rewards do not work, what does? I recommend that employers pay workers well and fairly and then do everything possible to help them forget about money. A preoccupation with money distracts everyone - employers and employees - from the issues that really matter.
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The race to win turns us all into losers.
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John Dewey reminded us that the value of what students do 'resides in its connection with a stimulation of greater thoughtfulness, not in the greater strain it imposes.
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Each time I visit such a classroom, where the teacher is more interested in creating a democratic community than in maintaining her position of authority, I’m convinced all over again that moving away from consequences and rewards isn’t just realistic - it’s the best way to help kids grow into good learners and good people.
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We can't value only what is easy to measure measurable outcomes may be the least important results of learning.
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Trying to be number one and trying to do a task well are two different things.
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Saying you taught it but the student didn't learn it is like saying you sold it but the customer didn't buy it.
Alfie Kohn
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Educators remind us that what counts in a classroom is not what the teacher teaches it’s what the learner learns.
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Do rewards motivate people? Absolutely. They motivate people to get rewards.
Alfie Kohn