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If I won the lottery I'd start a charity that helped little family hardware stores, cobblers and fruit shops open in city centres.

Alexei Sayle

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Alexei Sayle
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: August 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
City of Liverpool
Alexei David Sayle
Fruit
Centres
City
Hardware
Cities
Lottery
Open
Centre
Start
Shops
Family
Helped
Littles
Stores
Little
Charity
Cobblers

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I liked 35 and in both my novels that is the age of the lead characters. I tried making them my age but they just seemed to keep moaning about stuff.
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Honestly, sometimes I get really fed up of my subconscious - it's like it's got a mind of its own.
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I always thought communism was crap, really.
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Now, as a comic, if you're vaguely amusing you can go straight into TV, then you play the O2 and then everyone's sick of you.
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If you travel to the States... they have a lot of different words than like what we use. For instance: they say 'elevator', we say 'lift' they say 'drapes', we say 'curtains' they say 'president', we say 'seriously deranged git.'
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Most of the Communists I knew were nice people.
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First off, I have to mention what is undoubtedly the greatest phenomenon of the modern era: All You Can Eat Buffets.
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I don't think people were that interested in what I was doing for the most of the 1990s.
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People aren't universally heroic.
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Even a blind dog can find a bone every so often.
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I think that my ideas of the world are that it's random and cruel but kind of quite comical really, and therefore the humour, in a sense, springs from that.
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Israel is the Jimmy Saville of nation states.
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I don't think I'd ever get thin, but I don't see why I should necessarily think that I couldn't You can't live your life for your routines.
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But as in all cults, what's central to the Communist Party is the belief system and the elimination of nuance. From there you're very slowly led down the road to fanaticism and mass murder.
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I exist as an annexe of the BBC. I'm down the road a bit from the main building, in a little hut.
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Dire Straits is a great band. Someone tells you they like Brothers in Arms and immediately you know they're a stupid annoying git.
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Everyone I used to work with is still alive and can afford expensive lawyers.
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If someone starts agreeing with me, I don't like it. Out of pique, I become something else.
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You can't do comedy with a beard.
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