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If I won the lottery I'd start a charity that helped little family hardware stores, cobblers and fruit shops open in city centres.

Alexei Sayle

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Alexei Sayle
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: August 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
City of Liverpool
Alexei David Sayle
Open
Centre
Start
Shops
Family
Helped
Littles
Stores
Little
Charity
Cobblers
Fruit
Centres
City
Hardware
Cities
Lottery

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People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
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Dire Straits is a great band. Someone tells you they like Brothers in Arms and immediately you know they're a stupid annoying git.
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I suppose the common idea of me is that I'm going to be someone who's hyper and cracking jokes all the time, but people who meet me are soon disabused of that notion.
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But as in all cults, what's central to the Communist Party is the belief system and the elimination of nuance. From there you're very slowly led down the road to fanaticism and mass murder.
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A lot of those comics can't hold down relationships and they've got no other life apart from performing. They sleep in their Jags and a lot of them can't even talk. All they can do is tell gags.
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I don't think I'd ever get thin, but I don't see why I should necessarily think that I couldn't You can't live your life for your routines.
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Most of the Communists I knew were nice people.
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I have a lot of nice Italian winter clothes that make me look like a sophisticated Lebanese professor, so my friend Robert and I go around pretending to be experts in Arabic politics. It doesn't work in the summer though. I don't have the right clothes.
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I think that my ideas of the world are that it's random and cruel but kind of quite comical really, and therefore the humour, in a sense, springs from that.
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I feel sorry for many politicians we expect them to be completely consistent and moralised when we're not.
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The optimum frequency with which comedians should do a series is every year. I do one every three years. My audience is literally dying off.
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Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'... they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git.
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Even a blind dog can find a bone every so often.
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There's a part of me that still hates everything, and my natural view default setting is still very cynical and dark
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Everyone I used to work with is still alive and can afford expensive lawyers.
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Honestly, sometimes I get really fed up of my subconscious - it's like it's got a mind of its own.
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My name is Alexei Yuri Gagarin Siege of Stalingrad Glorious Five Year Plan Sputnik Tractor Moscow Dynamo Back Four Balowski. Me Dad was a bit of a Communist, know what I mean?
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