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If I won the lottery I'd start a charity that helped little family hardware stores, cobblers and fruit shops open in city centres.
Alexei Sayle
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Alexei Sayle
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: August 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
City of Liverpool
Alexei David Sayle
Littles
Stores
Little
Charity
Cobblers
Fruit
Centres
City
Hardware
Cities
Lottery
Open
Centre
Start
Shops
Family
Helped
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You can't do comedy with a beard.
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I have a lot of nice Italian winter clothes that make me look like a sophisticated Lebanese professor, so my friend Robert and I go around pretending to be experts in Arabic politics. It doesn't work in the summer though. I don't have the right clothes.
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But as in all cults, what's central to the Communist Party is the belief system and the elimination of nuance. From there you're very slowly led down the road to fanaticism and mass murder.
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People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
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I feel sorry for many politicians we expect them to be completely consistent and moralised when we're not.
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If someone starts agreeing with me, I don't like it. Out of pique, I become something else.
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I always thought communism was crap, really.
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For me, the showbiz memoir is uninteresting - you want to tell people something they don't know about.
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Israel is the Jimmy Saville of nation states.
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I wanted to write about how people's beliefs shift.
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My name is Alexei Yuri Gagarin Siege of Stalingrad Glorious Five Year Plan Sputnik Tractor Moscow Dynamo Back Four Balowski. Me Dad was a bit of a Communist, know what I mean?
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I did six series for the BBC and that was enough. I've been writing for ten years, which is more challenging artistically.
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I like the south of Spain, notably for the Moorish influence and the weather.
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However, my problems with my memory are further complicated by the fact that while I don't have any recollection of things I have actually done, I have very vivid recollections of loads of things that I haven't done.
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First off, I have to mention what is undoubtedly the greatest phenomenon of the modern era: All You Can Eat Buffets.
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People used to think I was just a shouty comic but I was doing stuff about Sartre.
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It always seemed to be a constant that my parents were political.
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Honestly, sometimes I get really fed up of my subconscious - it's like it's got a mind of its own.
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The optimum frequency with which comedians should do a series is every year. I do one every three years. My audience is literally dying off.
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