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You can't do comedy with a beard.

Alexei Sayle

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Alexei Sayle
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: August 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
City of Liverpool
Alexei David Sayle
Beard
Comedy

More quotes by Alexei Sayle

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Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'... they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git.
Alexei Sayle
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My name is Alexei Yuri Gagarin Siege of Stalingrad Glorious Five Year Plan Sputnik Tractor Moscow Dynamo Back Four Balowski. Me Dad was a bit of a Communist, know what I mean?
Alexei Sayle
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I always thought communism was crap, really.
Alexei Sayle
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I wanted to write about how people's beliefs shift.
Alexei Sayle
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I did six series for the BBC and that was enough. I've been writing for ten years, which is more challenging artistically.
Alexei Sayle
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I don't think I'd ever get thin, but I don't see why I should necessarily think that I couldn't You can't live your life for your routines.
Alexei Sayle
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A lot of those comics can't hold down relationships and they've got no other life apart from performing. They sleep in their Jags and a lot of them can't even talk. All they can do is tell gags.
Alexei Sayle
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If someone starts agreeing with me, I don't like it. Out of pique, I become something else.
Alexei Sayle
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The optimum frequency with which comedians should do a series is every year. I do one every three years. My audience is literally dying off.
Alexei Sayle
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There's a part of me that still hates everything, and my natural view default setting is still very cynical and dark
Alexei Sayle
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I think that my ideas of the world are that it's random and cruel but kind of quite comical really, and therefore the humour, in a sense, springs from that.
Alexei Sayle
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Honestly, sometimes I get really fed up of my subconscious - it's like it's got a mind of its own.
Alexei Sayle
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If sitcoms were easy to write, there'd be a lot of good ones, and there aren't.
Alexei Sayle
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I liked 35 and in both my novels that is the age of the lead characters. I tried making them my age but they just seemed to keep moaning about stuff.
Alexei Sayle
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I don't think people were that interested in what I was doing for the most of the 1990s.
Alexei Sayle
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Now, as a comic, if you're vaguely amusing you can go straight into TV, then you play the O2 and then everyone's sick of you.
Alexei Sayle
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Dire Straits is a great band. Someone tells you they like Brothers in Arms and immediately you know they're a stupid annoying git.
Alexei Sayle
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First off, I have to mention what is undoubtedly the greatest phenomenon of the modern era: All You Can Eat Buffets.
Alexei Sayle
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Israel is the Jimmy Saville of nation states.
Alexei Sayle
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As a comic, you try something and if it works you go with it and grind it to death.
Alexei Sayle