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Honestly, sometimes I get really fed up of my subconscious - it's like it's got a mind of its own.

Alexei Sayle

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Alexei Sayle
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: August 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
City of Liverpool
Alexei David Sayle
Sometimes
Mind
Really
Like
Subconscious
Feds
Honestly

More quotes by Alexei Sayle

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You can't do comedy with a beard.
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Israel is the Jimmy Saville of nation states.
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I wanted to write about how people's beliefs shift.
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The optimum frequency with which comedians should do a series is every year. I do one every three years. My audience is literally dying off.
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If you travel to the States... they have a lot of different words than like what we use. For instance: they say 'elevator', we say 'lift' they say 'drapes', we say 'curtains' they say 'president', we say 'seriously deranged git.'
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If someone starts agreeing with me, I don't like it. Out of pique, I become something else.
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People used to think I was just a shouty comic but I was doing stuff about Sartre.
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A lot of those comics can't hold down relationships and they've got no other life apart from performing. They sleep in their Jags and a lot of them can't even talk. All they can do is tell gags.
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But as in all cults, what's central to the Communist Party is the belief system and the elimination of nuance. From there you're very slowly led down the road to fanaticism and mass murder.
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It seems easier to make a career out of comedy now than it was in the 1980s.
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I have a lot of nice Italian winter clothes that make me look like a sophisticated Lebanese professor, so my friend Robert and I go around pretending to be experts in Arabic politics. It doesn't work in the summer though. I don't have the right clothes.
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Yuri Gagarin, the first man in space, may have had his charms, but he really couldn't be considered hip.
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People aren't universally heroic.
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People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
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Even a blind dog can find a bone every so often.
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Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'... they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git.
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However, my problems with my memory are further complicated by the fact that while I don't have any recollection of things I have actually done, I have very vivid recollections of loads of things that I haven't done.
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Most of the Communists I knew were nice people.
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Most of my friends are women - I quite fancied being a woman in a way.
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If I won the lottery I'd start a charity that helped little family hardware stores, cobblers and fruit shops open in city centres.
Alexei Sayle