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All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
Alexander Woollcott
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Alexander Woollcott
Age: 56 †
Born: 1887
Born: January 19
Died: 1943
Died: January 23
Actor
Critic
Journalist
Literary Critic
Radio Personality
Writer
Phalanx
New Jersey
Alexander Humphreys Woollcott
Things
Like
Fattening
Immoral
Illegal
Either
Really
More quotes by Alexander Woollcott
Many of us spend half of our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.
Alexander Woollcott
The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm.
Alexander Woollcott
Once in pre-war days, when curiously-bonneted women drivers were familiar sights at the taxi-wheels, I cried out to one in my dismay: Is there no speed limit in this mad city? Oh, yes, monsieur, she answered sweetly over her shoulder, but no one has ever succeeded in reaching it.
Alexander Woollcott
Germany was the cause of Hitler as much as Chicago is responsible for the Chicago Tribune.
Alexander Woollcott
The scenery in the play was beautiful, but the actors got in front of it.
Alexander Woollcott
The two oldest professions in the world — ruined by amateurs.
Alexander Woollcott
I'm tired of hearing it said that democracy doesn't work. Of course it doesn't work. We are supposed to work it.
Alexander Woollcott
I count it a high honor to belong to a profession in which the good men write every paragraph, every sentence, every line, as lovingly as any Addison or Steele, and do so in full regard that by tomorrow it will have been burned, or used, if at all, to line a shelf.
Alexander Woollcott
To all things clergic I am allergic.
Alexander Woollcott
His huff arrived and he departed in it.
Alexander Woollcott
At 83, George Bernard Shaw's mind was perhaps not quite as good as it used to be, but it was still better than anyone else's.
Alexander Woollcott
There's absolutely nothing wrong with Oscar Levant that a miracle can't fix.
Alexander Woollcott
You haven't lived until you died in New York.
Alexander Woollcott
Today just might be the best day to start seriously thinking about quitting smoking.
Alexander Woollcott
It was Mrs. Campbell, for instance, who, on a celebrated occasion, threw her companion into a flurry by describing her recent marriage as the deep, deep peace of the double-bed after the hurly-burly of the chaise-longue.
Alexander Woollcott
It comes from the likes of you! Take what you can get! Grab the chances as they come along! Act in hallways! Sing in doorways! Dance in cellars!
Alexander Woollcott
Babies in silk hats playing with dynamite.
Alexander Woollcott
Los Angeles is seven suburbs in search of a city.
Alexander Woollcott
Mrs. Patrick Cambell is an aged British battleship sinking rapidly and firing every available gun on her rescuers.
Alexander Woollcott
A hick town is one where there is no place to go where you shouldn't go.
Alexander Woollcott
