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All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.
Alexander Woollcott
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Alexander Woollcott
Age: 56 †
Born: 1887
Born: January 19
Died: 1943
Died: January 23
Actor
Critic
Journalist
Literary Critic
Radio Personality
Writer
Phalanx
New Jersey
Alexander Humphreys Woollcott
Either
Funny
Really
Things
Fattening
Like
Immoral
Fats
Illegal
Food
More quotes by Alexander Woollcott
Today just might be the best day to start seriously thinking about quitting smoking.
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There's absolutely nothing wrong with Oscar Levant that a miracle can't fix.
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All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
Alexander Woollcott
Babies in silk hats playing with dynamite.
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Germany was the cause of Hitler as much as Chicago is responsible for the Chicago Tribune.
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There's nothing wrong with Oscar Levant - nothing a miracle won't cure.
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A broker is a man who runs your fortune into a shoestring.
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One listens to one's lawyer prattle on as long as one can stand it and then signs where indicated.
Alexander Woollcott
Nothing risque, nothing gained.
Alexander Woollcott
Los Angeles is seven suburbs in search of a city.
Alexander Woollcott
A hick town is one where there is no place to go where you shouldn't go.
Alexander Woollcott
Many of us spend half of our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.
Alexander Woollcott
She was like a sinking ship firing on the rescuers.
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Mrs. Patrick Cambell is an aged British battleship sinking rapidly and firing every available gun on her rescuers.
Alexander Woollcott
There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day.
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I count it a high honor to belong to a profession in which the good men write every paragraph, every sentence, every line, as lovingly as any Addison or Steele, and do so in full regard that by tomorrow it will have been burned, or used, if at all, to line a shelf.
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The two oldest professions in the world — ruined by amateurs.
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Once in pre-war days, when curiously-bonneted women drivers were familiar sights at the taxi-wheels, I cried out to one in my dismay: Is there no speed limit in this mad city? Oh, yes, monsieur, she answered sweetly over her shoulder, but no one has ever succeeded in reaching it.
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It was Mrs. Campbell, for instance, who, on a celebrated occasion, threw her companion into a flurry by describing her recent marriage as the deep, deep peace of the double-bed after the hurly-burly of the chaise-longue.
Alexander Woollcott
I'm tired of hearing it said that democracy doesn't work. Of course it doesn't work. We are supposed to work it.
Alexander Woollcott
