Quote

We'd better work hard on getting rid of that must - Other people must do what I want them to do! It's what makes people hostile, nasty, mean and combative, and it leads to feuds, wars and genocide. We'd better do something about that.

Albert Ellis

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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Mean
Wars
Work
Leads
Something
Getting
People
War
Combative
Makes
Feuds
Better
Genocide
Hard
Hostile
Must
Nasty

More quotes by Albert Ellis

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I don't recommend that people speak their minds to their bosses or to somebody who's directly over them. You need to know when to speak your mind and what the penalty will be for doing so. Sometimes it's worth it, and often it's not!
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Freud had a gene for inefficiency, and I think I have a gene for efficiency.
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Eating is always a decision, nobody forces your hand to pick up food and put it into your mouth.
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We teach people that they upset themselves. We can't change the past, so we change how people are thinking, feeling and behaving today.
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I get people to truly accept themselves unconditionally, whether or not their therapist or anyone loves them.
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People could rationally decide that prolonged relationships take up too much time and effort and that they'd much rather do other kinds of things. But most people are afraid of rejection.
Albert Ellis
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People don't just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness. They always have the power to think, and to think about their thinking, and to think about thinking about their thinking, which the goddamn dolphin, as far as we know, can't do. Therefore they have much greater ability to change themselves than any other animal has.
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Spirit and soul is horseshit of the worst sort. Obviously there are no fairies, no Santa Clauses, no spirits. What there is, is human goals and purposes as noted by sane existentialists. But a lot of transcendentalists are utter screwballs.
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I think the future of psychotherapy and psychology is in the school system. We need to teach every child how to rarely seriously disturb himself or herself and how to overcome disturbance when it occurs. In that sense, psychotherapy belongs in the schools.
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The goal of all life is to have a ball.
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I had a great many sex and love cases where people were absolutely devastated when somebody with whom they were compulsively in love didn't love them back. They were killing themselves with anxiety and depression.
Albert Ellis
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To err is human to forgive people and yourself for poor behavior is to be sensible and realistic.
Albert Ellis
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Even injustice has it's good points. It gives me the challenge of being as happy as I can in an unfair world.
Albert Ellis
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I started to call myself a rational therapist in 1955 later I used the term rational emotive. Now I call myself a rational emotive behavior therapist.
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I hope to die in the saddle seat.
Albert Ellis
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I started to call myself a rational therapist in January 1955 later I used the term rational emotive. Now I call myself a rational emotive behavior therapist. But from the start, I always included philosophic techniques as well as experiential, emotional and behavioral techniques.
Albert Ellis
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People are terrified of other people or difficult projects because they tell themselves that they could fail or be rejected. Failure can lead to sorrow, regret, frustration and annoyance-all healthy feelings without which people couldn't exist.
Albert Ellis
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Whatever may be, I am still largely the creator and ruler of my emotional destiny.
Albert Ellis
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Acceptance is not love. You love a person because he or she has lovable traits, but you accept everybody just because they're alive and human.
Albert Ellis
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We can't change the past, so we change how people are thinking, feeling and behaving today.
Albert Ellis