Quote

We'd better work hard on getting rid of that must - Other people must do what I want them to do! It's what makes people hostile, nasty, mean and combative, and it leads to feuds, wars and genocide. We'd better do something about that.

Albert Ellis

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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Must
Nasty
Mean
Wars
Work
Leads
Something
Getting
People
War
Combative
Makes
Feuds
Better
Genocide
Hard
Hostile

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You largely constructed your depression. It wasn't given to you. Therefore, you can deconstruct it.
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I get people to truly accept themselves unconditionally, whether or not their therapist or anyone loves them.
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Humans can always accept themselves unconditionally.
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I would have liked having children to some degree, but frankly I haven't got the time to take the kids to the goddamn ballgame.
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People got insights into what was bothering them, but they hardly did a damn thing to change.
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Religious creeds encourage some of the craziest kinds of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors and favor severe manifestations of neurosis, borderline personality states, and sometimes even psychosis.
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Whatever may be, I am still largely the creator and ruler of my emotional destiny.
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Whining about your own, others', or the world's failings is a main element in what we usually call neurosis.
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Many psychoanalysts refused to let me speak at their meetings. They were exceptionally vigorous because I had previously been an analyst and they were very angry at my flying the coop.
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The easy way out is often just that-the 'easy' way out of the most rewarding lifestyle.
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Freud had a gene for inefficiency, and I think I have a gene for efficiency. Had I not been a therapist, I would have been an efficiency expert.
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The individual is taught that there is nothing that he as a total person is to feel ashamed of or self-hating for.
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The trouble with most therapy is that it helps you feel better. But you don't get better. You have to back it up with action, action, action.
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In fact most of what we call anxiety is overconcern about what someone thinks of you.
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If people stopped looking on their emotions as ethereal, almost inhuman processes, and realistically viewed them as being largely composed of perceptions, thoughts, evaluations, and internalized sentences, they would find it quite possible to work calmly and concertedly at changing them.
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Worrying about dying will hardly help you live.
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