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So I'd better stop my whining and help myself cope better with even the worst Adversities.

Albert Ellis

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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Help
Helping
Better
Adversities
Even
Whining
Cope
Adversity
Worst
Stop

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Eating is always a decision, nobody forces your hand to pick up food and put it into your mouth.
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The easy way out is often just that-the 'easy' way out of the most rewarding lifestyle.
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Neurosis is just a high-class word for whining.
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Humans can always accept themselves unconditionally.
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You mainly feel the way you think.
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I thought foolishly that Freudian psychoanalysis was deeper and more intensive than other, more directive forms of therapy, so I was trained in it and practiced it.
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The trouble with most therapy is that it helps you feel better. But you don't get better. You have to back it up with action, action, action.
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Worrying about dying will hardly help you live.
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We can't change the past, so we change how people are thinking, feeling and behaving today.
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The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own.
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If you would stop, really stop, damning yourself, others, and unkind conditions, you would find it almost impossible to upset yourself emotionally - about anything. Yes, anything.
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I don't recommend that people speak their minds to their bosses or to somebody who's directly over them. You need to know when to speak your mind and what the penalty will be for doing so. Sometimes it's worth it, and often it's not!
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When I started to get disillusioned with psychoanalysis I reread philosophy and was reminded of the constructivist notion that Epictetus had proposed 2,000 years ago: People are disturbed not by events that happen to them, but by their view of them. I could see how that applied to many of my clients.
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Let's suppose somebody abused you sexually. You still had a choice, though not a good one, about what to tell yourself about the abuse.
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People are terrified of other people or difficult projects because they tell themselves that they could fail or be rejected. Failure can lead to sorrow, regret, frustration and annoyance-all healthy feelings without which people couldn't exist.
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When people change their irrational beliefs to undogmatic flexible preferences, they become less disturbed.
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I wrote several articles criticizing psychoanalysis, but the analysts weren't listening to my objections. So I finally quit after practicing it for six years.
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The great majority of the things we now make ourselves panicked about are self-created 'dangers' that exist almost entirely in our own imaginations.
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In the old days we used to get more referrals, because people had insurance that paid for therapy. Now they belong to HMOs, and we can only be affiliated with a few HMOs.
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Even when people act nastily to you, don't condemn them or retaliate.
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