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People are terrified of other people or difficult projects because they tell themselves that they could fail or be rejected. Failure can lead to sorrow, regret, frustration and annoyance-all healthy feelings without which people couldn't exist.

Albert Ellis

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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Failing
Frustration
Couldn
Fail
Healthy
Regret
Difficult
Projects
Feelings
Sorrow
Tell
Lead
Annoyance
Without
Exist
Terrified
People
Failure
Rejected

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Religious creeds encourage some of the craziest kinds of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors and favor severe manifestations of neurosis, borderline personality states, and sometimes even psychosis.
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Much of what we call emotion is nothing more or less than a certain kind - a biased, prejudiced, or strongly evaluative kind - of thought.
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There are three musts that hold us back: I must do well. You must treat me well. And the world must be easy.
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Is self-esteem a sickness? That's according to the way you define it. In the usual way it is defined by people and by psychologists, I'd say that it is probably the greatest emotional disturbance known to man and woman.
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Freud had a gene for inefficiency, and I think I have a gene for efficiency. Had I not been a therapist, I would have been an efficiency expert.
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The attitude of unconditional self-acceptance is probably the most important variable in their long-term recovery.
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As a matter of fact, as a result of my philosophy, I wasn't even upset about Hitler. I was willing to go to war to knock him off, but I didn't hate him. I hated what he was doing.
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If human emotions largely result from thinking, then one may appreciably control one's feelings by controlling one's thoughts - or by changing the internalized sentences, or self-talk, with which one largely created the feeling in the first place.
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I would have liked having children to some degree, but frankly I haven't got the time to take the kids to the goddamn ballgame.
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I regret that I've been so busy with clinical work that I haven't been able to spend much time on experiments and outcome studies.
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I think it's unfair, but they have the right as fallible, screwed-up humans to be unfair that's the human condition.
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People don't just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness.
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I had used eclectic therapy and behavior therapy on myself at the age of 19 to get over my fear of public speaking and of approaching young women in public.
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I would have liked having children to some degree, but frankly I haven't got the time to take the kids to the goddamn ballgame. So it would have had more disadvantages than advantages for them.
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Eating is always a decision, nobody forces your hand to pick up food and put it into your mouth.
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In fact most of what we call anxiety is overconcern about what someone thinks of you.
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The great majority of the things we now make ourselves panicked about are self-created 'dangers' that exist almost entirely in our own imaginations.
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Attempts to help humans eliminate all self-ratings and views self-esteem as a self-defeating concept that encourages them to make conditional evaluations of self. Instead, it teaches people unconditional self-acceptance.
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The easy way out is often just that-the 'easy' way out of the most rewarding lifestyle.
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People have motives and thoughts of which they are unaware.
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