Quote

The individual is taught that there is nothing that he as a total person is to feel ashamed of or self-hating for.

Albert Ellis

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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Nothing
Therapy
Self
Ashamed
Feel
Total
Feels
Taught
Individual
Hate
Persons
Person
Hating

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The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.
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The more sinful and guilty a person tends to feel, the less chance there is that he will be a happy, healthy, or law-abiding citizen. He will become a compulsive wrong-doer.
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I thought foolishly that Freudian psychoanalysis was deeper and more intensive than other, more directive forms of therapy, so I was trained in it and practiced it.
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You have only to exist as you do and to live your life as best you can.
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Freud had a gene for inefficiency, and I think I have a gene for efficiency. Had I not been a therapist, I would have been an efficiency expert.
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And just as two wrongs don't make a right, rage against offenders is probably the worst way to try to correct them.
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Self-esteem is the greatest sickness known to man or woman because it's conditional.
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Is self-esteem a sickness? That's according to the way you define it. In the usual way it is defined by people and by psychologists, I'd say that it is probably the greatest emotional disturbance known to man and woman.
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Let's suppose somebody abused you sexually. You still had a choice, though not a good one, about what to tell yourself about the abuse.
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Being assertive does not mean attacking or ignoring others feelings. It means that you are willing to hold up for yourself fairly-without attacking others.
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In fact most of what we call anxiety is overconcern about what someone thinks of you.
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Whining about your own, others', or the world's failings is a main element in what we usually call neurosis.
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People and things do not upset us. Rather, we upset ourselves by believing that they can upset us.
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When I started to get disillusioned with psychoanalysis I reread philosophy and was reminded of the constructivist notion that Epictetus had proposed 2,000 years ago: People are disturbed not by events that happen to them, but by their view of them. I could see how that applied to many of my clients.
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The goal...is not to change your desires and wishes but to persuade you to stop demanding that you absolutely must have what you wish-from yourself, from others, and from the world. You can by all means keep your wishes, preferences, and desires, but unless you prefer to remain needlessly anxious, not your grandiose demands.
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People have motives and thoughts of which they are unaware.
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There are three musts that hold us back: I must do well. You must treat me well. And the world must be easy.
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Rational beliefs bring us closer to getting good results in the real world.
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Lack of forgiveness of others breeds lack of self-forgiveness.
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Most people would have given up when faced with all the criticism I've received over the years.
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