Quote

Happiness is experienced largely in striving towards a goal, not in having attained things, because our nature is always to want to go on to the next endeavor.

Albert Ellis

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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Goal
Happiness
Attained
Next
Striving
Nature
Largely
Always
Endeavor
Things
Experienced
Strive
Towards

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People don't just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness.
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Most things worth having require some sacrifice, usually more than you expect.
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The world consists mainly of love slobs who need other people's approval. Most people don't live their own lives very well.
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I started to call myself a rational therapist in January 1955 later I used the term rational emotive. Now I call myself a rational emotive behavior therapist. But from the start, I always included philosophic techniques as well as experiential, emotional and behavioral techniques.
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Even injustice has it's good points. It gives me the challenge of being as happy as I can in an unfair world.
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Worrying about dying will hardly help you live.
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I get people to truly accept themselves unconditionally, whether or not their therapist or anyone loves them.
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Lack of forgiveness of others breeds lack of self-forgiveness.
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Convince yourself that worrying about many situations will make them worse rather than improve them.
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Let's suppose somebody abused you sexually. You still had a choice, though not a good one, about what to tell yourself about the abuse.
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People could rationally decide that prolonged relationships take up too much time and effort and that they'd much rather do other kinds of things. But most people are afraid of rejection.
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I wrote several articles criticizing psychoanalysis, but the analysts weren't listening to my objections. So I finally quit after practicing it for six years.
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Worry itself is one of the most painful conditions.
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I would like to be remembered as one of the individuals who founded, ideologically and practically, cognitive behavior therapy and who pioneered multimodal or integrated therapy.
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Religious fanaticism has clearly produced, and in all probability will continue to produce, enormous amounts of bickering, fighting, violence, bloodshed, homicide, feuds, wars, and genocide.
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You mainly feel the way you think.
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Needing leads to bleeding - to almost all inevitable suffering.
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You never truly need what you want. That is the main and thoroughgoing key to serenity.
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There's no evidence whatsoever that men are more rational than women. Both sexes seem to be equally irrational.
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When I started to get disillusioned with psychoanalysis I reread philosophy and was reminded of the constructivist notion that Epictetus had proposed 2,000 years ago: People are disturbed not by events that happen to them, but by their view of them. I could see how that applied to many of my clients.
Albert Ellis