Quote

Happiness is experienced largely in striving towards a goal, not in having attained things, because our nature is always to want to go on to the next endeavor.

Albert Ellis

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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Things
Experienced
Strive
Towards
Goal
Happiness
Attained
Next
Striving
Nature
Largely
Always
Endeavor

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Lack of forgiveness of others breeds lack of self-forgiveness.
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The art of love is largely the art of persistence.
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People could rationally decide that prolonged relationships take up too much time and effort and that they'd much rather do other kinds of things. But most people are afraid of rejection.
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To err is human to forgive people and yourself for poor behavior is to be sensible and realistic.
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If I had been a member of the academic establishment, I could have done other experiments.
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Thinking rationally is often different from positive thinking, in that it is a realistic assessment of the situation, with a view towards rectifying the problem if possible.
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The great majority of the things we now make ourselves panicked about are self-created 'dangers' that exist almost entirely in our own imaginations.
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The individual is taught that there is nothing that he as a total person is to feel ashamed of or self-hating for.
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We teach people that they upset themselves. We can't change the past, so we change how people are thinking, feeling and behaving today.
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Spirit and soul is horseshit of the worst sort. Obviously there are no fairies, no Santa Clauses, no spirits. What there is, is human goals and purposes as noted by sane existentialists. But a lot of transcendentalists are utter screwballs.
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I'm one of the best-loved psychologists in the United States, but I'm also probably the most hated one.
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Stop shoulding on yourself
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So I'd better stop my whining and help myself cope better with even the worst Adversities.
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The easy way out is often just that-the 'easy' way out of the most rewarding lifestyle.
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I think the future of psychotherapy and psychology is in the school system. We need to teach every child how to rarely seriously disturb himself or herself and how to overcome disturbance when it occurs. In that sense, psychotherapy belongs in the schools.
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Whining about your own, others', or the world's failings is a main element in what we usually call neurosis.
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The emotionally mature individual should completely accept the fact that we live in a world of probability and chance, where there are not, nor probably ever will be, any absolute certainties, and should realize that it is not at all horrible, indeed—such a probabilistic, uncertain world.
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People don't just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness. They always have the power to think, and to think about their thinking, and to think about thinking about their thinking, which the goddamn dolphin, as far as we know, can't do. Therefore they have much greater ability to change themselves than any other animal has.
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The goal...is not to change your desires and wishes but to persuade you to stop demanding that you absolutely must have what you wish-from yourself, from others, and from the world. You can by all means keep your wishes, preferences, and desires, but unless you prefer to remain needlessly anxious, not your grandiose demands.
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Convince yourself that worrying about many situations will make them worse rather than improve them.
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