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The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own.

Albert Ellis

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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Life
Decided
Outgrowing
Ones
Psychologist
Problems
Ecology
Responsibility
Psychology
Happiness
Twenties
Problem
Decide
Best
Blame
Years
Destiny

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You largely constructed your depression. It wasn't given to you. Therefore, you can deconstruct it.
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Convince yourself that worrying about many situations will make them worse rather than improve them.
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We can actually put the essence of neurosis in a single word: blaming - or damning.
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Happiness is experienced largely in striving towards a goal, not in having attained things, because our nature is always to want to go on to the next endeavor.
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And just as two wrongs don't make a right, rage against offenders is probably the worst way to try to correct them.
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When people change their irrational beliefs to undogmatic flexible preferences, they become less disturbed.
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People got insights into what was bothering them, but they hardly did a damn thing to change.
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If something is irrational, that means it won't work. It's usually unrealistic.
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I teach people to be flexible, scientific and logical in their thinking and therefore to be less prone to brainwashing by the therapist.
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People don't just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness.
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As a matter of fact, as a result of my philosophy, I wasn't even upset about Hitler. I was willing to go to war to knock him off, but I didn't hate him. I hated what he was doing.
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Worry itself is one of the most painful conditions.
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We can't change the past, so we change how people are thinking, feeling and behaving today.
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You have considerable power to construct self-helping thoughts, feelings and actions as well as to construct self-defeating behaviors. You have the ability, if you use it, to choose healthy instead of unhealthy thinking, feeling and acting.
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Rational beliefs bring us closer to getting good results in the real world.
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Religious creeds encourage some of the craziest kinds of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors and favor severe manifestations of neurosis, borderline personality states, and sometimes even psychosis.
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The emotionally mature individual should completely accept the fact that we live in a world of probability and chance, where there are not, nor probably ever will be, any absolute certainties, and should realize that it is not at all horrible, indeed—such a probabilistic, uncertain world.
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By not caring too much about what people think, I'm able to think for myself and propagate ideas which are very often unpopular. And I succeed.
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This, perhaps, goes to show that conditional self-esteem, as I have said for many years, is an insidious, real sickness, so much so that even Buddhists carelessly sneak it in and sometimes encourage their clients to achieve it.
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I'm one of the best-loved psychologists in the United States, but I'm also probably the most hated one.
Albert Ellis