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The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own.
Albert Ellis
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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Ones
Psychologist
Problems
Ecology
Responsibility
Psychology
Happiness
Twenties
Problem
Decide
Best
Blame
Years
Destiny
Life
Decided
Outgrowing
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Unless, of course, you insist on identifying yourself with the people and things you love and thereby seriously disturb yourself.
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When people change their irrational beliefs to undogmatic flexible preferences, they become less disturbed.
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The easy way out is often just that-the 'easy' way out of the most rewarding lifestyle.
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I regret that I've been so busy with clinical work that I haven't been able to spend much time on experiments and outcome studies.
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The great majority of the things we now make ourselves panicked about are self-created 'dangers' that exist almost entirely in our own imaginations.
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When I started to get disillusioned with psychoanalysis I reread philosophy and was reminded of the constructivist notion that Epictetus had proposed 2,000 years ago: People are disturbed not by events that happen to them, but by their view of them. I could see how that applied to many of my clients.
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The more sinful and guilty a person tends to feel, the less chance there is that he will be a happy, healthy, or law-abiding citizen. He will become a compulsive wrong-doer.
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If the Martians ever find out how human beings think, they'll kill themselves laughing.
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I started to call myself a rational therapist in 1955 later I used the term rational emotive. Now I call myself a rational emotive behavior therapist.
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You have only to exist as you do and to live your life as best you can.
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The individual is taught that there is nothing that he as a total person is to feel ashamed of or self-hating for.
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Most people would have given up when faced with all the criticism I've received over the years.
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People and things do not upset us. Rather, we upset ourselves by believing that they can upset us.
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For that again, is what all manner of religion essentially is: childish dependency.
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You largely constructed your depression. It wasn't given to you. Therefore, you can deconstruct it.
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Even when people act nastily to you, don't condemn them or retaliate.
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Failure doesn't have anything to do with your intrinsic value as a person.
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Whatever may be, I am still largely the creator and ruler of my emotional destiny.
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Stop shoulding on yourself
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Needing leads to bleeding - to almost all inevitable suffering.
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