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To err is human to forgive people and yourself for poor behavior is to be sensible and realistic.

Albert Ellis

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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
People
Realistic
Forgive
Forgiveness
Forgiving
Behavior
Poor
Human
Humans
Sensible

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You mainly feel the way you think.
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I thought foolishly that Freudian psychoanalysis was deeper and more intensive than other, more directive forms of therapy, so I was trained in it and practiced it.
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When people change their irrational beliefs to undogmatic flexible preferences, they become less disturbed.
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Lack of forgiveness of others breeds lack of self-forgiveness.
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I would have liked having children to some degree, but frankly I haven't got the time to take the kids to the goddamn ballgame. So it would have had more disadvantages than advantages for them.
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The emotionally mature individual should completely accept the fact that we live in a world of probability and chance, where there are not, nor probably ever will be, any absolute certainties, and should realize that it is not at all horrible, indeed—such a probabilistic, uncertain world.
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Acceptance is not love. You love a person because he or she has lovable traits, but you accept everybody just because they're alive and human.
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We'd better work hard on getting rid of that must - Other people must do what I want them to do! It's what makes people hostile, nasty, mean and combative, and it leads to feuds, wars and genocide. We'd better do something about that.
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There are three musts that hold us back: I must do well. You must treat me well. And the world must be easy.
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This, perhaps, goes to show that conditional self-esteem, as I have said for many years, is an insidious, real sickness, so much so that even Buddhists carelessly sneak it in and sometimes encourage their clients to achieve it.
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I started to call myself a rational therapist in 1955 later I used the term rational emotive. Now I call myself a rational emotive behavior therapist.
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Thinking rationally is often different from positive thinking, in that it is a realistic assessment of the situation, with a view towards rectifying the problem if possible.
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People are terrified of other people or difficult projects because they tell themselves that they could fail or be rejected. Failure can lead to sorrow, regret, frustration and annoyance-all healthy feelings without which people couldn't exist.
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Worrying about dying will hardly help you live.
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Freud had a gene for inefficiency, and I think I have a gene for efficiency.
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I had a great many sex and love cases where people were absolutely devastated when somebody with whom they were compulsively in love didn't love them back. They were killing themselves with anxiety and depression.
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I would have liked having children to some degree, but frankly I haven't got the time to take the kids to the goddamn ballgame.
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The attitude of unconditional self-acceptance is probably the most important variable in their long-term recovery.
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If something is irrational, that means it won't work. It's usually unrealistic.
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Convince yourself that worrying about many situations will make them worse rather than improve them.
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