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Even when people act nastily to you, don't condemn them or retaliate.

Albert Ellis

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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Condemn
Blame
Hate
Even
People
Retaliate

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If the Martians ever find out how human beings think, they'll kill themselves laughing.
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You have only to exist as you do and to live your life as best you can.
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We can actually put the essence of neurosis in a single word: blaming - or damning.
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If I had been a member of the academic establishment, I could have done other experiments.
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By not caring too much about what people think, I'm able to think for myself and propagate ideas which are very often unpopular. And I succeed with them because, again, I don't care too much what other people think.
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Even injustice has it's good points. It gives me the challenge of being as happy as I can in an unfair world.
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The great majority of the things we now make ourselves panicked about are self-created 'dangers' that exist almost entirely in our own imaginations.
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We'd better work hard on getting rid of that must - Other people must do what I want them to do! It's what makes people hostile, nasty, mean and combative, and it leads to feuds, wars and genocide. We'd better do something about that.
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For that again, is what all manner of religion essentially is: childish dependency.
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And just as two wrongs don't make a right, rage against offenders is probably the worst way to try to correct them.
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As a matter of fact, as a result of my philosophy, I wasn't even upset about Hitler. I was willing to go to war to knock him off, but I didn't hate him. I hated what he was doing.
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Religious fanaticism has clearly produced, and in all probability will continue to produce, enormous amounts of bickering, fighting, violence, bloodshed, homicide, feuds, wars, and genocide.
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I'm very happy. I like my work and I like the various aspects of it - going around the world, teaching the gospel according to St. Albert - I like that. And seeing clients, doing group therapy, writing books.
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Failure doesn't have anything to do with your intrinsic value as a person.
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The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.
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Unless, of course, you insist on identifying yourself with the people and things you love and thereby seriously disturb yourself.
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By not caring too much about what people think, I'm able to think for myself and propagate ideas which are very often unpopular. And I succeed.
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You have considerable power to construct self-helping thoughts, feelings and actions as well as to construct self-defeating behaviors. You have the ability, if you use it, to choose healthy instead of unhealthy thinking, feeling and acting.
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As a result of my philosophy, I wasn't even upset about Hitler. I was willing to go to war to knock him off, but I didn't hate him. I hated what he was doing.
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I get people to truly accept themselves unconditionally, whether or not their therapist or anyone loves them.
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