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Even when people act nastily to you, don't condemn them or retaliate.

Albert Ellis

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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
People
Retaliate
Condemn
Blame
Hate
Even

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For that again, is what all manner of religion essentially is: childish dependency.
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So I'd better stop my whining and help myself cope better with even the worst Adversities.
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People got insights into what was bothering them, but they hardly did a damn thing to change.
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Much of what we call emotion is nothing more or less than a certain kind - a biased, prejudiced, or strongly evaluative kind - of thought.
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I had a great many sex and love cases where people were absolutely devastated when somebody with whom they were compulsively in love didn't love them back. They were killing themselves with anxiety and depression.
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Religious creeds encourage some of the craziest kinds of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors and favor severe manifestations of neurosis, borderline personality states, and sometimes even psychosis.
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When I started to get disillusioned with psychoanalysis I reread philosophy and was reminded of the constructivist notion that Epictetus had proposed 2,000 years ago: People are disturbed not by events that happen to them, but by their view of them. I could see how that applied to many of my clients.
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Needing leads to bleeding - to almost all inevitable suffering.
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I would have liked having children to some degree, but frankly I haven't got the time to take the kids to the goddamn ballgame. So it would have had more disadvantages than advantages for them.
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You never truly need what you want. That is the main and thoroughgoing key to serenity.
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The more sinful and guilty a person tends to feel, the less chance there is that he will be a happy, healthy, or law-abiding citizen. He will become a compulsive wrong-doer.
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I started to call myself a rational therapist in 1955 later I used the term rational emotive. Now I call myself a rational emotive behavior therapist.
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The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.
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Whatever may be, I am still largely the creator and ruler of my emotional destiny.
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People don't just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness.
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The easy way out is often just that-the 'easy' way out of the most rewarding lifestyle.
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Humans can always accept themselves unconditionally.
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Stop shoulding on yourself
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People could rationally decide that prolonged relationships take up too much time and effort and that they'd much rather do other kinds of things. But most people are afraid of rejection.
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There are three musts that hold us back: I must do well. You must treat me well. And the world must be easy.
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