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Convince yourself that worrying about many situations will make them worse rather than improve them.

Albert Ellis

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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Many
Situations
Make
Convince
Improve
Anxiety
Worse
Worry
Situation
Rather
Worrying

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Worry itself is one of the most painful conditions.
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Let's suppose somebody abused you sexually. You still had a choice, though not a good one, about what to tell yourself about the abuse.
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Rational beliefs bring us closer to getting good results in the real world.
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So I'd better stop my whining and help myself cope better with even the worst Adversities.
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The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own.
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There are three musts that hold us back: I must do well. You must treat me well. And the world must be easy.
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Most people would have given up when faced with all the criticism I've received over the years.
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Worrying about dying will hardly help you live.
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The trouble with most therapy is that it helps you feel better. But you don't get better. You have to back it up with action, action, action.
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Attempts to help humans eliminate all self-ratings and views self-esteem as a self-defeating concept that encourages them to make conditional evaluations of self. Instead, it teaches people unconditional self-acceptance.
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As a result of my philosophy, I wasn't even upset about Hitler. I was willing to go to war to knock him off, but I didn't hate him. I hated what he was doing.
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Beginning in the 1960s, many studies showed that people who hold what we call irrational beliefs are significantly more disturbed than when they don't hold them, and the more strongly they hold them, the more disturbed they tend to be.
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Freud had a gene for inefficiency, and I think I have a gene for efficiency. Had I not been a therapist, I would have been an efficiency expert.
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You have considerable power to construct self-helping thoughts, feelings and actions as well as to construct self-defeating behaviors. You have the ability, if you use it, to choose healthy instead of unhealthy thinking, feeling and acting.
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Even when people act nastily to you, don't condemn them or retaliate.
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I wrote several articles criticizing psychoanalysis, but the analysts weren't listening to my objections. So I finally quit after practicing it for six years.
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The easy way out is often just that-the 'easy' way out of the most rewarding lifestyle.
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Whining about your own, others', or the world's failings is a main element in what we usually call neurosis.
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I think the future of psychotherapy and psychology is in the school system. We need to teach every child how to rarely seriously disturb himself or herself and how to overcome disturbance when it occurs. In that sense, psychotherapy belongs in the schools.
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I don't recommend that people speak their minds to their bosses or to somebody who's directly over them. You need to know when to speak your mind and what the penalty will be for doing so. Sometimes it's worth it, and often it's not!
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