Quote

The great majority of the things we now make ourselves panicked about are self-created 'dangers' that exist almost entirely in our own imaginations.

Albert Ellis

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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Almost
Entirely
Self
Anxiety
Majority
Great
Created
Make
Exist
Things
Danger
Panicked
Worry
Imaginations
Imagination
Dangers

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I had a great many sex and love cases where people were absolutely devastated when somebody with whom they were compulsively in love didn't love them back. They were killing themselves with anxiety and depression.
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In fact most of what we call anxiety is overconcern about what someone thinks of you.
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This, perhaps, goes to show that conditional self-esteem, as I have said for many years, is an insidious, real sickness, so much so that even Buddhists carelessly sneak it in and sometimes encourage their clients to achieve it.
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People don't just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness.
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There's no evidence whatsoever that men are more rational than women. Both sexes seem to be equally irrational.
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We'd better work hard on getting rid of that must - Other people must do what I want them to do! It's what makes people hostile, nasty, mean and combative, and it leads to feuds, wars and genocide. We'd better do something about that.
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We teach people that they upset themselves. We can't change the past, so we change how people are thinking, feeling and behaving today.
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The trouble with most therapy is that it helps you feel better. But you don't get better. You have to back it up with action, action, action.
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I'm very happy. I like my work and the various aspects of it - going around the world, teaching the gospel according to St. Albert.
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Much of what we call emotion is nothing more or less than a certain kind - a biased, prejudiced, or strongly evaluative kind - of thought.
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You have only to exist as you do and to live your life as best you can.
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So I'd better stop my whining and help myself cope better with even the worst Adversities.
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Happiness is experienced largely in striving towards a goal, not in having attained things, because our nature is always to want to go on to the next endeavor.
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I regret that I've been so busy with clinical work that I haven't been able to spend much time on experiments and outcome studies.
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If something is irrational, that means it won't work. It's usually unrealistic.
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By not caring too much about what people think, I'm able to think for myself and propagate ideas which are very often unpopular. And I succeed.
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Many psychoanalysts refused to let me speak at their meetings. They were exceptionally vigorous because I had previously been an analyst and they were very angry at my flying the coop.
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I don't recommend that people speak their minds to their bosses or to somebody who's directly over them. You need to know when to speak your mind and what the penalty will be for doing so. Sometimes it's worth it, and often it's not!
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