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We can actually put the essence of neurosis in a single word: blaming - or damning.

Albert Ellis

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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Word
Actually
Damning
Blaming
Neurosis
Blame
Essence
Single

More quotes by Albert Ellis

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I would have liked having children to some degree, but frankly I haven't got the time to take the kids to the goddamn ballgame.
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If people stopped looking on their emotions as ethereal, almost inhuman processes, and realistically viewed them as being largely composed of perceptions, thoughts, evaluations, and internalized sentences, they would find it quite possible to work calmly and concertedly at changing them.
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If human emotions largely result from thinking, then one may appreciably control one's feelings by controlling one's thoughts - or by changing the internalized sentences, or self-talk, with which one largely created the feeling in the first place.
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As a result of my philosophy, I wasn't even upset about Hitler. I was willing to go to war to knock him off, but I didn't hate him. I hated what he was doing.
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You largely constructed your depression. It wasn't given to you. Therefore, you can deconstruct it.
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You never truly need what you want. That is the main and thoroughgoing key to serenity.
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Whatever may be, I am still largely the creator and ruler of my emotional destiny.
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The easy way out is often just that-the 'easy' way out of the most rewarding lifestyle.
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If the Martians ever find out how human beings think, they'll kill themselves laughing.
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By not caring too much about what people think, I'm able to think for myself and propagate ideas which are very often unpopular. And I succeed with them because, again, I don't care too much what other people think.
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Failure doesn't have anything to do with your intrinsic value as a person.
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The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.
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People and things do not upset us. Rather, we upset ourselves by believing that they can upset us.
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The attitude of unconditional self-acceptance is probably the most important variable in their long-term recovery.
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Eating is always a decision, nobody forces your hand to pick up food and put it into your mouth.
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Happiness is experienced largely in striving towards a goal, not in having attained things, because our nature is always to want to go on to the next endeavor.
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The goal...is not to change your desires and wishes but to persuade you to stop demanding that you absolutely must have what you wish-from yourself, from others, and from the world. You can by all means keep your wishes, preferences, and desires, but unless you prefer to remain needlessly anxious, not your grandiose demands.
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In the old days we used to get more referrals, because people had insurance that paid for therapy. Now they belong to HMOs, and we can only be affiliated with a few HMOs.
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Most people would have given up when faced with all the criticism I've received over the years.
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People don't just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness.
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