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This, perhaps, goes to show that conditional self-esteem, as I have said for many years, is an insidious, real sickness, so much so that even Buddhists carelessly sneak it in and sometimes encourage their clients to achieve it.

Albert Ellis

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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Shows
Sickness
Self
Encourage
Many
Buddhist
Carelessly
Sometimes
Esteem
Buddhists
Real
Perhaps
Conditional
Even
Achieve
Insidious
Much
Goes
Sneak
Years
Show
Clients

More quotes by Albert Ellis

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Attempts to help humans eliminate all self-ratings and views self-esteem as a self-defeating concept that encourages them to make conditional evaluations of self. Instead, it teaches people unconditional self-acceptance.
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Let's suppose somebody abused you sexually. You still had a choice, though not a good one, about what to tell yourself about the abuse.
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If something is irrational, that means it won't work. It's usually unrealistic.
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I teach people to be flexible, scientific and logical in their thinking and therefore to be less prone to brainwashing by the therapist.
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You never truly need what you want. That is the main and thoroughgoing key to serenity.
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I started to call myself a rational therapist in January 1955 later I used the term rational emotive. Now I call myself a rational emotive behavior therapist. But from the start, I always included philosophic techniques as well as experiential, emotional and behavioral techniques.
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Strong feelings are fine it's the overreactions that mess us up.
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I wrote several articles criticizing psychoanalysis, but the analysts weren't listening to my objections. So I finally quit after practicing it for six years.
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You have only to exist as you do and to live your life as best you can.
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Worry itself is one of the most painful conditions.
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In fact most of what we call anxiety is overconcern about what someone thinks of you.
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Most things worth having require some sacrifice, usually more than you expect.
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You have considerable power to construct self-helping thoughts, feelings and actions as well as to construct self-defeating behaviors. You have the ability, if you use it, to choose healthy instead of unhealthy thinking, feeling and acting.
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There are three musts that hold us back: I must do well. You must treat me well. And the world must be easy.
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Religious creeds encourage some of the craziest kinds of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors and favor severe manifestations of neurosis, borderline personality states, and sometimes even psychosis.
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If I had been a member of the academic establishment, I could have done other experiments.
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You mainly feel the way you think.
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For that again, is what all manner of religion essentially is: childish dependency.
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We can actually put the essence of neurosis in a single word: blaming - or damning.
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Being assertive does not mean attacking or ignoring others feelings. It means that you are willing to hold up for yourself fairly-without attacking others.
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