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Stop shoulding on yourself

Albert Ellis

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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
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I would have liked having children to some degree, but frankly I haven't got the time to take the kids to the goddamn ballgame. So it would have had more disadvantages than advantages for them.
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So I'd better stop my whining and help myself cope better with even the worst Adversities.
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Unless, of course, you insist on identifying yourself with the people and things you love and thereby seriously disturb yourself.
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I had a great many sex and love cases where people were absolutely devastated when somebody with whom they were compulsively in love didn't love them back. They were killing themselves with anxiety and depression.
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Much of what we call emotion is nothing more or less than a certain kind - a biased, prejudiced, or strongly evaluative kind - of thought.
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Convince yourself that worrying about many situations will make them worse rather than improve them.
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Is self-esteem a sickness? That's according to the way you define it. In the usual way it is defined by people and by psychologists, I'd say that it is probably the greatest emotional disturbance known to man and woman.
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Failure doesn't have anything to do with your intrinsic value as a person.
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As a result of my philosophy, I wasn't even upset about Hitler. I was willing to go to war to knock him off, but I didn't hate him. I hated what he was doing.
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People got insights into what was bothering them, but they hardly did a damn thing to change.
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By not caring too much about what people think, I'm able to think for myself and propagate ideas which are very often unpopular. And I succeed with them because, again, I don't care too much what other people think.
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The easy way out is often just that-the 'easy' way out of the most rewarding lifestyle.
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The world consists mainly of love slobs who need other people's approval. Most people don't live their own lives very well.
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For that again, is what all manner of religion essentially is: childish dependency.
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The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own.
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The more sinful and guilty a person tends to feel, the less chance there is that he will be a happy, healthy, or law-abiding citizen. He will become a compulsive wrong-doer.
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The emotionally mature individual should completely accept the fact that we live in a world of probability and chance, where there are not, nor probably ever will be, any absolute certainties, and should realize that it is not at all horrible, indeed—such a probabilistic, uncertain world.
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We'd better work hard on getting rid of that must - Other people must do what I want them to do! It's what makes people hostile, nasty, mean and combative, and it leads to feuds, wars and genocide. We'd better do something about that.
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I think it's unfair, but they have the right as fallible, screwed-up humans to be unfair that's the human condition.
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Even injustice has it's good points. It gives me the challenge of being as happy as I can in an unfair world.
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