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Stop shoulding on yourself

Albert Ellis

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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
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The easy way out is often just that-the 'easy' way out of the most rewarding lifestyle.
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Lack of forgiveness of others breeds lack of self-forgiveness.
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Worrying about dying will hardly help you live.
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As a matter of fact, as a result of my philosophy, I wasn't even upset about Hitler. I was willing to go to war to knock him off, but I didn't hate him. I hated what he was doing.
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You largely constructed your depression. It wasn't given to you. Therefore, you can deconstruct it.
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People don't just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness.
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I'm one of the best-loved psychologists in the United States, but I'm also probably the most hated one.
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Many psychoanalysts refused to let me speak at their meetings. They were exceptionally vigorous because I had previously been an analyst and they were very angry at my flying the coop.
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If something is irrational, that means it won't work. It's usually unrealistic.
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This, perhaps, goes to show that conditional self-esteem, as I have said for many years, is an insidious, real sickness, so much so that even Buddhists carelessly sneak it in and sometimes encourage their clients to achieve it.
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Even injustice has it's good points. It gives me the challenge of being as happy as I can in an unfair world.
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By honestly acknowledging your past errors, but never damning yourself for them, you can learn to use your past for your own future benefit.
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There's no evidence whatsoever that men are more rational than women. Both sexes seem to be equally irrational.
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Attempts to help humans eliminate all self-ratings and views self-esteem as a self-defeating concept that encourages them to make conditional evaluations of self. Instead, it teaches people unconditional self-acceptance.
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Being assertive does not mean attacking or ignoring others feelings. It means that you are willing to hold up for yourself fairly-without attacking others.
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People are terrified of other people or difficult projects because they tell themselves that they could fail or be rejected. Failure can lead to sorrow, regret, frustration and annoyance-all healthy feelings without which people couldn't exist.
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People got insights into what was bothering them, but they hardly did a damn thing to change.
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We can actually put the essence of neurosis in a single word: blaming - or damning.
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Humans can always accept themselves unconditionally.
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Thinking rationally is often different from positive thinking, in that it is a realistic assessment of the situation, with a view towards rectifying the problem if possible.
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