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Stop shoulding on yourself

Albert Ellis

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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
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You largely constructed your depression. It wasn't given to you. Therefore, you can deconstruct it.
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Needing leads to bleeding - to almost all inevitable suffering.
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The world consists mainly of love slobs who need other people's approval. Most people don't live their own lives very well.
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Let's suppose somebody abused you sexually. You still had a choice, though not a good one, about what to tell yourself about the abuse.
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I would have liked having children to some degree, but frankly I haven't got the time to take the kids to the goddamn ballgame. So it would have had more disadvantages than advantages for them.
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If I had been a member of the academic establishment, I could have done other experiments.
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I wrote several articles criticizing psychoanalysis, but the analysts weren't listening to my objections. So I finally quit after practicing it for six years.
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When people change their irrational beliefs to undogmatic flexible preferences, they become less disturbed.
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Much of what we call emotion is nothing more or less than a certain kind - a biased, prejudiced, or strongly evaluative kind - of thought.
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You have considerable power to construct self-helping thoughts, feelings and actions as well as to construct self-defeating behaviors. You have the ability, if you use it, to choose healthy instead of unhealthy thinking, feeling and acting.
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The emotionally mature individual should completely accept the fact that we live in a world of probability and chance, where there are not, nor probably ever will be, any absolute certainties, and should realize that it is not at all horrible, indeed—such a probabilistic, uncertain world.
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Whining about your own, others', or the world's failings is a main element in what we usually call neurosis.
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People got insights into what was bothering them, but they hardly did a damn thing to change.
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People have motives and thoughts of which they are unaware.
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And just as two wrongs don't make a right, rage against offenders is probably the worst way to try to correct them.
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I think the future of psychotherapy and psychology is in the school system. We need to teach every child how to rarely seriously disturb himself or herself and how to overcome disturbance when it occurs.
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Convince yourself that worrying about many situations will make them worse rather than improve them.
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You never truly need what you want. That is the main and thoroughgoing key to serenity.
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Lack of forgiveness of others breeds lack of self-forgiveness.
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Failure doesn't have anything to do with your intrinsic value as a person.
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