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I had a great many sex and love cases where people were absolutely devastated when somebody with whom they were compulsively in love didn't love them back. They were killing themselves with anxiety and depression.

Albert Ellis

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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Great
Killing
Love
Absolutely
People
Sex
Cases
Somebody
Compulsively
Didn
Devastated
Back
Depression
Many
Anxiety

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I think the future of psychotherapy and psychology is in the school system. We need to teach every child how to rarely seriously disturb himself or herself and how to overcome disturbance when it occurs.
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You have considerable power to construct self-helping thoughts, feelings and actions as well as to construct self-defeating behaviors. You have the ability, if you use it, to choose healthy instead of unhealthy thinking, feeling and acting.
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Much of what we call emotion is nothing more or less than a certain kind - a biased, prejudiced, or strongly evaluative kind - of thought.
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Most people would have given up when faced with all the criticism I've received over the years.
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Neurosis is just a high-class word for whining.
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There's no evidence whatsoever that men are more rational than women. Both sexes seem to be equally irrational.
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If you would stop, really stop, damning yourself, others, and unkind conditions, you would find it almost impossible to upset yourself emotionally - about anything. Yes, anything.
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If human emotions largely result from thinking, then one may appreciably control one's feelings by controlling one's thoughts - or by changing the internalized sentences, or self-talk, with which one largely created the feeling in the first place.
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The trouble with most therapy is that it helps you feel better. But you don't get better. You have to back it up with action, action, action.
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The goal of all life is to have a ball.
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I think it's unfair, but they have the right as fallible, screwed-up humans to be unfair that's the human condition.
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The attitude of unconditional self-acceptance is probably the most important variable in their long-term recovery.
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People and things do not upset us. Rather, we upset ourselves by believing that they can upset us.
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Strong feelings are fine it's the overreactions that mess us up.
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The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own.
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I'm very happy. I like my work and I like the various aspects of it - going around the world, teaching the gospel according to St. Albert - I like that. And seeing clients, doing group therapy, writing books.
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Even when people act nastily to you, don't condemn them or retaliate.
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When I started to get disillusioned with psychoanalysis I reread philosophy and was reminded of the constructivist notion that Epictetus had proposed 2,000 years ago: People are disturbed not by events that happen to them, but by their view of them. I could see how that applied to many of my clients.
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You have only to exist as you do and to live your life as best you can.
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