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Let's suppose somebody abused you sexually. You still had a choice, though not a good one, about what to tell yourself about the abuse.

Albert Ellis

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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Somebody
Choices
Though
Tell
Abused
Stills
Sexually
Still
Suppose
Good
Abuse
Choice

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And just as two wrongs don't make a right, rage against offenders is probably the worst way to try to correct them.
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The individual is taught that there is nothing that he as a total person is to feel ashamed of or self-hating for.
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You have considerable power to construct self-helping thoughts, feelings and actions as well as to construct self-defeating behaviors. You have the ability, if you use it, to choose healthy instead of unhealthy thinking, feeling and acting.
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There's no evidence whatsoever that men are more rational than women. Both sexes seem to be equally irrational.
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Many psychoanalysts refused to let me speak at their meetings. They were exceptionally vigorous because I had previously been an analyst and they were very angry at my flying the coop.
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I think it's unfair, but they have the right as fallible, screwed-up humans to be unfair that's the human condition.
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We can actually put the essence of neurosis in a single word: blaming - or damning.
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By honestly acknowledging your past errors, but never damning yourself for them, you can learn to use your past for your own future benefit.
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Religious creeds encourage some of the craziest kinds of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors and favor severe manifestations of neurosis, borderline personality states, and sometimes even psychosis.
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Is self-esteem a sickness? That's according to the way you define it. In the usual way it is defined by people and by psychologists, I'd say that it is probably the greatest emotional disturbance known to man and woman.
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Rational beliefs bring us closer to getting good results in the real world.
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Most people would have given up when faced with all the criticism I've received over the years.
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Freud had a gene for inefficiency, and I think I have a gene for efficiency.
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When I started to get disillusioned with psychoanalysis I reread philosophy and was reminded of the constructivist notion that Epictetus had proposed 2,000 years ago: People are disturbed not by events that happen to them, but by their view of them. I could see how that applied to many of my clients.
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Whatever may be, I am still largely the creator and ruler of my emotional destiny.
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Acceptance is not love. You love a person because he or she has lovable traits, but you accept everybody just because they're alive and human.
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I think the future of psychotherapy and psychology is in the school system. We need to teach every child how to rarely seriously disturb himself or herself and how to overcome disturbance when it occurs. In that sense, psychotherapy belongs in the schools.
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People and things do not upset us. Rather, we upset ourselves by believing that they can upset us.
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People don't just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness.
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If people stopped looking on their emotions as ethereal, almost inhuman processes, and realistically viewed them as being largely composed of perceptions, thoughts, evaluations, and internalized sentences, they would find it quite possible to work calmly and concertedly at changing them.
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