Quote

Let's suppose somebody abused you sexually. You still had a choice, though not a good one, about what to tell yourself about the abuse.

Albert Ellis

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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Good
Abuse
Choice
Somebody
Choices
Though
Tell
Abused
Stills
Sexually
Still
Suppose

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Even injustice has it's good points. It gives me the challenge of being as happy as I can in an unfair world.
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Whining about your own, others', or the world's failings is a main element in what we usually call neurosis.
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As a result of my philosophy, I wasn't even upset about Hitler. I was willing to go to war to knock him off, but I didn't hate him. I hated what he was doing.
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In the old days we used to get more referrals, because people had insurance that paid for therapy. Now they belong to HMOs, and we can only be affiliated with a few HMOs.
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By honestly acknowledging your past errors, but never damning yourself for them, you can learn to use your past for your own future benefit.
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I think the future of psychotherapy and psychology is in the school system. We need to teach every child how to rarely seriously disturb himself or herself and how to overcome disturbance when it occurs.
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You never truly need what you want. That is the main and thoroughgoing key to serenity.
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People are terrified of other people or difficult projects because they tell themselves that they could fail or be rejected. Failure can lead to sorrow, regret, frustration and annoyance-all healthy feelings without which people couldn't exist.
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We teach people that they upset themselves. We can't change the past, so we change how people are thinking, feeling and behaving today.
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Stop shoulding on yourself
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The goal...is not to change your desires and wishes but to persuade you to stop demanding that you absolutely must have what you wish-from yourself, from others, and from the world. You can by all means keep your wishes, preferences, and desires, but unless you prefer to remain needlessly anxious, not your grandiose demands.
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I think it's unfair, but they have the right as fallible, screwed-up humans to be unfair that's the human condition.
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There are three musts that hold us back: I must do well. You must treat me well. And the world must be easy.
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By not caring too much about what people think, I'm able to think for myself and propagate ideas which are very often unpopular. And I succeed with them because, again, I don't care too much what other people think.
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The world consists mainly of love slobs who need other people's approval. Most people don't live their own lives very well.
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The individual is taught that there is nothing that he as a total person is to feel ashamed of or self-hating for.
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And just as two wrongs don't make a right, rage against offenders is probably the worst way to try to correct them.
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Worry itself is one of the most painful conditions.
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Needing leads to bleeding - to almost all inevitable suffering.
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Strong feelings are fine it's the overreactions that mess us up.
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