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We teach people that they upset themselves. We can't change the past, so we change how people are thinking, feeling and behaving today.
Albert Ellis
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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Feelings
Past
Change
Today
Thinking
Behaving
People
Upset
Teach
Feeling
More quotes by Albert Ellis
I thought foolishly that Freudian psychoanalysis was deeper and more intensive than other, more directive forms of therapy, so I was trained in it and practiced it.
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Rational beliefs bring us closer to getting good results in the real world.
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I don't recommend that people speak their minds to their bosses or to somebody who's directly over them. You need to know when to speak your mind and what the penalty will be for doing so. Sometimes it's worth it, and often it's not!
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Worrying about dying will hardly help you live.
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People don't just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness.
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People and things do not upset us. Rather, we upset ourselves by believing that they can upset us.
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Many psychoanalysts refused to let me speak at their meetings. They were exceptionally vigorous because I had previously been an analyst and they were very angry at my flying the coop.
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I regret that I've been so busy with clinical work that I haven't been able to spend much time on experiments and outcome studies.
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Happiness is experienced largely in striving towards a goal, not in having attained things, because our nature is always to want to go on to the next endeavor.
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You largely constructed your depression. It wasn't given to you. Therefore, you can deconstruct it.
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People don't just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness. They always have the power to think, and to think about their thinking, and to think about thinking about their thinking, which the goddamn dolphin, as far as we know, can't do. Therefore they have much greater ability to change themselves than any other animal has.
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By not caring too much about what people think, I'm able to think for myself and propagate ideas which are very often unpopular. And I succeed.
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Most things worth having require some sacrifice, usually more than you expect.
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Is self-esteem a sickness? That's according to the way you define it. In the usual way it is defined by people and by psychologists, I'd say that it is probably the greatest emotional disturbance known to man and woman.
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You have only to exist as you do and to live your life as best you can.
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We'd better work hard on getting rid of that must - Other people must do what I want them to do! It's what makes people hostile, nasty, mean and combative, and it leads to feuds, wars and genocide. We'd better do something about that.
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I hope to die in the saddle seat.
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The easy way out is often just that-the 'easy' way out of the most rewarding lifestyle.
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I get people to truly accept themselves unconditionally, whether or not their therapist or anyone loves them.
Albert Ellis
If you would stop, really stop, damning yourself, others, and unkind conditions, you would find it almost impossible to upset yourself emotionally - about anything. Yes, anything.
Albert Ellis
