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We teach people that they upset themselves. We can't change the past, so we change how people are thinking, feeling and behaving today.
Albert Ellis
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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Change
Today
Thinking
Behaving
People
Upset
Teach
Feeling
Feelings
Past
More quotes by Albert Ellis
Let's suppose somebody abused you sexually. You still had a choice, though not a good one, about what to tell yourself about the abuse.
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I regret that I've been so busy with clinical work that I haven't been able to spend much time on experiments and outcome studies.
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There's no evidence whatsoever that men are more rational than women. Both sexes seem to be equally irrational.
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Needing leads to bleeding - to almost all inevitable suffering.
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I get people to truly accept themselves unconditionally, whether or not their therapist or anyone loves them.
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You mainly feel the way you think.
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If you would stop, really stop, damning yourself, others, and unkind conditions, you would find it almost impossible to upset yourself emotionally - about anything. Yes, anything.
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The more sinful and guilty a person tends to feel, the less chance there is that he will be a happy, healthy, or law-abiding citizen. He will become a compulsive wrong-doer.
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In fact most of what we call anxiety is overconcern about what someone thinks of you.
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People have motives and thoughts of which they are unaware.
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Strong feelings are fine it's the overreactions that mess us up.
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If people stopped looking on their emotions as ethereal, almost inhuman processes, and realistically viewed them as being largely composed of perceptions, thoughts, evaluations, and internalized sentences, they would find it quite possible to work calmly and concertedly at changing them.
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When I started to get disillusioned with psychoanalysis I reread philosophy and was reminded of the constructivist notion that Epictetus had proposed 2,000 years ago: People are disturbed not by events that happen to them, but by their view of them. I could see how that applied to many of my clients.
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By not caring too much about what people think, I'm able to think for myself and propagate ideas which are very often unpopular. And I succeed.
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If I had been a member of the academic establishment, I could have done other experiments.
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Rational beliefs bring us closer to getting good results in the real world.
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Being assertive does not mean attacking or ignoring others feelings. It means that you are willing to hold up for yourself fairly-without attacking others.
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By not caring too much about what people think, I'm able to think for myself and propagate ideas which are very often unpopular. And I succeed with them because, again, I don't care too much what other people think.
Albert Ellis
We can't change the past, so we change how people are thinking, feeling and behaving today.
Albert Ellis
I don't recommend that people speak their minds to their bosses or to somebody who's directly over them. You need to know when to speak your mind and what the penalty will be for doing so. Sometimes it's worth it, and often it's not!
Albert Ellis
