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By not caring too much about what people think, I'm able to think for myself and propagate ideas which are very often unpopular. And I succeed.

Albert Ellis

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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Thinking
Succeed
People
Wise
Often
Kids
Propagate
Able
Importunate
Ideas
Unpopular
Much
Bullying
Think
Caring

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Whenever you avoid alarming situations, you almost always increase your anxiety about them.
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There are three musts that hold us back: I must do well. You must treat me well. And the world must be easy.
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The goal of all life is to have a ball.
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Most people would have given up when faced with all the criticism I've received over the years.
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The individual is taught that there is nothing that he as a total person is to feel ashamed of or self-hating for.
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Eating is always a decision, nobody forces your hand to pick up food and put it into your mouth.
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The more sinful and guilty a person tends to feel, the less chance there is that he will be a happy, healthy, or law-abiding citizen. He will become a compulsive wrong-doer.
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I would have liked having children to some degree, but frankly I haven't got the time to take the kids to the goddamn ballgame. So it would have had more disadvantages than advantages for them.
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Stop shoulding on yourself
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Beginning in the 1960s, many studies showed that people who hold what we call irrational beliefs are significantly more disturbed than when they don't hold them, and the more strongly they hold them, the more disturbed they tend to be.
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The trouble with most therapy is that it helps you feel better. But you don't get better. You have to back it up with action, action, action.
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I get people to truly accept themselves unconditionally, whether or not their therapist or anyone loves them.
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If you would stop, really stop, damning yourself, others, and unkind conditions, you would find it almost impossible to upset yourself emotionally - about anything. Yes, anything.
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The world consists mainly of love slobs who need other people's approval. Most people don't live their own lives very well.
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When I started to get disillusioned with psychoanalysis I reread philosophy and was reminded of the constructivist notion that Epictetus had proposed 2,000 years ago: People are disturbed not by events that happen to them, but by their view of them. I could see how that applied to many of my clients.
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If the Martians ever find out how human beings think, they'll kill themselves laughing.
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Worry itself is one of the most painful conditions.
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Strong feelings are fine it's the overreactions that mess us up.
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In fact most of what we call anxiety is overconcern about what someone thinks of you.
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I regret that I've been so busy with clinical work that I haven't been able to spend much time on experiments and outcome studies.
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