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There are three musts that hold us back: I must do well. You must treat me well. And the world must be easy.

Albert Ellis

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Albert Ellis
Age: 93 †
Born: 1913
Born: September 27
Died: 2007
Died: July 24
Behaviour Therapist
Cognitive Scientist
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Sex Educator
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Three
Back
Wells
Encouragement
Well
Treat
Must
Treats
World
Hold
Growth
Easy

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And just as two wrongs don't make a right, rage against offenders is probably the worst way to try to correct them.
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I think the future of psychotherapy and psychology is in the school system. We need to teach every child how to rarely seriously disturb himself or herself and how to overcome disturbance when it occurs. In that sense, psychotherapy belongs in the schools.
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If I had been a member of the academic establishment, I could have done other experiments.
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I hope to die in the saddle seat.
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You have only to exist as you do and to live your life as best you can.
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There's no evidence whatsoever that men are more rational than women or that men are more willing to surrender their irrational beliefs. Both sexes seem to be equally irrational.
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The goal...is not to change your desires and wishes but to persuade you to stop demanding that you absolutely must have what you wish-from yourself, from others, and from the world. You can by all means keep your wishes, preferences, and desires, but unless you prefer to remain needlessly anxious, not your grandiose demands.
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The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.
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The art of love is largely the art of persistence.
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The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own.
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Spirit and soul is horseshit of the worst sort. Obviously there are no fairies, no Santa Clauses, no spirits. What there is, is human goals and purposes as noted by sane existentialists. But a lot of transcendentalists are utter screwballs.
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I think it's unfair, but they have the right as fallible, screwed-up humans to be unfair that's the human condition.
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Eating is always a decision, nobody forces your hand to pick up food and put it into your mouth.
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We'd better work hard on getting rid of that must - Other people must do what I want them to do! It's what makes people hostile, nasty, mean and combative, and it leads to feuds, wars and genocide. We'd better do something about that.
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The individual is taught that there is nothing that he as a total person is to feel ashamed of or self-hating for.
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In fact most of what we call anxiety is overconcern about what someone thinks of you.
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You have considerable power to construct self-helping thoughts, feelings and actions as well as to construct self-defeating behaviors. You have the ability, if you use it, to choose healthy instead of unhealthy thinking, feeling and acting.
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I don't recommend that people speak their minds to their bosses or to somebody who's directly over them. You need to know when to speak your mind and what the penalty will be for doing so. Sometimes it's worth it, and often it's not!
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Most things worth having require some sacrifice, usually more than you expect.
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You mainly feel the way you think.
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