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Being a screenwriter in Hollywood is like being a eunuch at an orgy. Worse, actually, at least the eunuch is allowed to watch.
Albert Brooks
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Albert Brooks
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Beverly Hills
California
Albert Lawrence Brooks
Albert Lawrence Einstein
A. Brooks
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Eunuch
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Eunuchs
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Orgy
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Worse
Hollywood
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More quotes by Albert Brooks
I'm not a person who I ever thought would do well with divorce. Not that it can't happen. I just didn't want that. So I waited a long time to meet the right person. Then I finally met someone that I was willing to be divorced from.
Albert Brooks
I have children. I have a family to support. But I really could live in a one-room apartment, as long as the television worked. I never needed anything. Just a comfortable chair and I'm fine.
Albert Brooks
Steven Spielberg seems to have wanted to be a director from 13. He put his dog in a certain position and made him eat at four o'clock. He liked to direct it. But, to me, directing is tedious. Especially if you're acting in it. And I'm inherently lazy.
Albert Brooks
There's always the standard six people you can hire that have played all these villains in Hollywood. Instinctively, when they come on screen, you know what's going to happen. You don't know the story, but you know what they do.
Albert Brooks
My friend Harry Nilsson used to say the definition of an artist was someone who rode way ahead of the herd and was sort of the lookout. Now you don't have to be that, to be an artist. You can be right smack-dab in the middle of the herd. If you are, you'll be the richest.
Albert Brooks
I just like making people laugh, and buried in that I like to bring up topics and start discussions.
Albert Brooks
Someone asked me what do you think of Donald Trump? And I said, I would rather vote for Hillary Clinton in jail. If she gets convicted, I'll vote for her for president.
Albert Brooks
You make friends with older people and you always feel young no matter what.
Albert Brooks
I, sort of, got into comedy accidentally, and it got bigger than I wanted it to.
Albert Brooks
Most entertainment is trying to get you. It's tested, like toothpaste.
Albert Brooks
Bullfights are hugely popular because you can sit comfortably with a hot dog and possibly watch a man die. It wont be me, but I can sit comfortably and watch it.
Albert Brooks
Be generous and you can be the best person who ever lived.
Albert Brooks
I'm a big consumer of news and I have my six newspaper sites booked. And what I like bout Twitter is it's almost, it allows me to make a comment about something that's just on my mind.
Albert Brooks
There's nothing funny about flying to Houston.
Albert Brooks
What's interesting about books that take place in the future, even twenty years in the future, is that many of them are black or white: It's either a utopia or it's misery. The real truth is that there's going to be both things in any future, just like there is now.
Albert Brooks
In my screenplays - from the very beginning I've always used tape. I talk my screenplays. And then have somebody transcribe them.
Albert Brooks
I got so good at writing to a budget, my brain was restricting myself. I'd write, It's a stormy night. Then I'd cross out stormy. I'd write: It's a calm night. Then I'd cross out night. It's noon. Because you know how much night costs. You know how much rain costs. Nothing comes free in movies.
Albert Brooks
Regrets are stupid they don't mean anything and they don't add up to anything.
Albert Brooks
'Drive' came to me because the casting director knew my manager and called and said, 'You've always talked to me about Albert wanting to play the heavy. I think he should read this.' My ears just perked up.
Albert Brooks
Excited about Black Friday. Also excited about Jew Tuesday.
Albert Brooks
