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Being a screenwriter in Hollywood is like being a eunuch at an orgy. Worse, actually, at least the eunuch is allowed to watch.

Albert Brooks

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Albert Brooks
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Beverly Hills
California
Albert Lawrence Brooks
Albert Lawrence Einstein
A. Brooks
Hollywood
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Watch
Least
Eunuch
Actually
Eunuchs
Like
Orgy
Allowed
Worse

More quotes by Albert Brooks

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You make friends with older people and you always feel young no matter what.
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I, sort of, got into comedy accidentally, and it got bigger than I wanted it to.
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I don't experience basic human emotions. It's not my thing.
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I like movies about failing.
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If you want to be a writer, just write. There's no magic to it.
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I've always felt like I work in a small little area that doesn't represent anything like the rest of society.
Albert Brooks
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When I was younger, I wasn't concentrating on good days. I was managing a career and trying to have a good year. It would always 'lead' to something, which never leads to anything except death, where everything leads to. And then as I got older, and then I had my kids and everything, I began to appreciate a great Wednesday.
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It's better to be known by six people for something you're proud of than to be known by sixty million for something you're not.
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I'm not a big fan of the post-Armageddon stories, where Denzel Washington is walking around in a torn coat.
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If anything happens to me, tell every woman I've ever gone with I was talking about her at the end. That way, they'll have to reevaluate me.
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I don't want to be the one to break it to you, but the future ain't that funny.
Albert Brooks
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If you're going to act and do this for a living, you want to play something that the audience didn't expect.
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I never wanted to be a director.
Albert Brooks
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Acceptance is going to a restaurant where the salad's not great, but the steak is fine.
Albert Brooks
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What naturally stops you making the film is there is no more money in the budget. That's really what it is. If you had an unlimited budget, if you were a billionaire and you financed your own movies, then you can either date, because you can sit in an editing room for six years, like Howard Hughes, and never finish anything.
Albert Brooks
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I have children. I have a family to support. But I really could live in a one-room apartment, as long as the television worked. I never needed anything. Just a comfortable chair and I'm fine.
Albert Brooks
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All improv turns into anger. All comedy improv basically turns into anger, because that's all people know how to do when they're improvising. If you notice shows that are improvising are generally people yelling at each other.
Albert Brooks
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You know, when cameras are rolling, improvisation doesn't feel natural. The pressure is too great. You're on a time schedule. You've got 60 crewmen.
Albert Brooks
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The world really changed after 9/11, not just in the tragic way, but in every way. So it took me a couple of years to even understand how my art form I could process any of this. When the world changed, eliciting laughter with subjects that were funny to me before 9/11 just didnt seem good enough.
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Relaxation is the absence of worry.
Albert Brooks