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Being a screenwriter in Hollywood is like being a eunuch at an orgy. Worse, actually, at least the eunuch is allowed to watch.

Albert Brooks

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Albert Brooks
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Beverly Hills
California
Albert Lawrence Brooks
Albert Lawrence Einstein
A. Brooks
Least
Eunuch
Actually
Eunuchs
Like
Orgy
Allowed
Worse
Hollywood
Watches
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More quotes by Albert Brooks

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I guess 'The Player' was a pretty good L.A. movie. And 'Chinatown.' Was there ever a better L.A. movie about a certain period in L.A.? That was terrific.
Albert Brooks
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I don't know that I can define fear. But one of the sources of fear is holding up some sort of model life that doesn't exist and feeling like you're far away from it.
Albert Brooks
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If you look at the best-seller list for American fiction, they're all sequels to detective stories or stories about hunting serial killers. That's what's called American fiction these days.
Albert Brooks
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Relaxation is the absence of worry.
Albert Brooks
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Twitter is the Devil's playground.
Albert Brooks
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I have children. I have a family to support. But I really could live in a one-room apartment, as long as the television worked. I never needed anything. Just a comfortable chair and I'm fine.
Albert Brooks
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As an actor, if you're just sitting and staring and you don't know who you are in your own mind, it's vacant. And sometimes the camera is an X-ray machine, it can pick it up.
Albert Brooks
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I don't want to be the one to break it to you, but the future ain't that funny.
Albert Brooks
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One of the things I like about a character: I always think it's fascinating when a character can turn on a dime and go from one emotion to another. I like watching that.
Albert Brooks
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You never do a movie and not want it to work. You accept whatever it is. You have to, but nobody in their right mind would not want the movie to be getting talked about at the end of the year.
Albert Brooks
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Twitter, to me, works if you're funny. Twitter doesn't work as a promotional tool unless you do it very, very, very occasionally.
Albert Brooks
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All improv turns into anger. All comedy improv basically turns into anger, because that's all people know how to do when they're improvising. If you notice shows that are improvising are generally people yelling at each other.
Albert Brooks
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Even though my father was a radio comedian, it wasn't cool to say, at a young age, 'I want to be a comedian.'
Albert Brooks
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I'm not interesting enough on my own that you'd want to see a film about me.
Albert Brooks
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Art and resistance are great together. That's what art's made for. Look at Vincent van Gogh: He didn't cut off his ear because he was selling well.
Albert Brooks
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You make friends with older people and you always feel young no matter what.
Albert Brooks
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A lot of alliteration from anxious anchors placed in powerful posts!
Albert Brooks
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So I think if you're happy with your brain, you're powerful.
Albert Brooks
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I'm not a big fan of the post-Armageddon stories, where Denzel Washington is walking around in a torn coat.
Albert Brooks
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In the beginning of any career, in every job, people are always forcing you to the middle.
Albert Brooks