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Being a screenwriter in Hollywood is like being a eunuch at an orgy. Worse, actually, at least the eunuch is allowed to watch.
Albert Brooks
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Albert Brooks
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Beverly Hills
California
Albert Lawrence Brooks
Albert Lawrence Einstein
A. Brooks
Worse
Hollywood
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Eunuch
Actually
Eunuchs
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Orgy
Allowed
More quotes by Albert Brooks
Getting older is a lot of fun. Right up there with chewing glass or putting your hand in a blender.
Albert Brooks
Even though my father was a radio comedian, it wasn't cool to say, at a young age, 'I want to be a comedian.'
Albert Brooks
What naturally stops you making the film is there is no more money in the budget. That's really what it is. If you had an unlimited budget, if you were a billionaire and you financed your own movies, then you can either date, because you can sit in an editing room for six years, like Howard Hughes, and never finish anything.
Albert Brooks
I've always liked to think ahead. Not stupid-far ahead. A hundred years doesn't interest me. But 20 years interests me, and more for what happens to humans as opposed to things.
Albert Brooks
Steven Spielberg seems to have wanted to be a director from 13. He put his dog in a certain position and made him eat at four o'clock. He liked to direct it. But, to me, directing is tedious. Especially if you're acting in it. And I'm inherently lazy.
Albert Brooks
Well, you know, with every character, if you're going to expose yourself, you've got to figure out every detail that you're going to play. So there's no character that you can just go put on his shirt and be fully prepared.
Albert Brooks
Twitter, to me, works if you're funny. Twitter doesn't work as a promotional tool unless you do it very, very, very occasionally.
Albert Brooks
I'm a big consumer of news and I have my six newspaper sites booked. And what I like bout Twitter is it's almost, it allows me to make a comment about something that's just on my mind.
Albert Brooks
When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up.
Albert Brooks
I take anything other than 'you big pig!' as a compliment.
Albert Brooks
In my screenplays - from the very beginning I've always used tape. I talk my screenplays. And then have somebody transcribe them.
Albert Brooks
I'm not Elvis. I don't get chased by paparazzi.
Albert Brooks
'Drive' came to me because the casting director knew my manager and called and said, 'You've always talked to me about Albert wanting to play the heavy. I think he should read this.' My ears just perked up.
Albert Brooks
I'm not a person who I ever thought would do well with divorce. Not that it can't happen. I just didn't want that. So I waited a long time to meet the right person. Then I finally met someone that I was willing to be divorced from.
Albert Brooks
Movies are an expensive business.
Albert Brooks
If you want to be a writer, just write. There's no magic to it.
Albert Brooks
I have children. I have a family to support. But I really could live in a one-room apartment, as long as the television worked. I never needed anything. Just a comfortable chair and I'm fine.
Albert Brooks
Be generous and you can be the best person who ever lived.
Albert Brooks
If I'm going to act in someone's movie, I want the movie to be interesting and be able to get a couple of solid doubles.
Albert Brooks
How many people didn't get a part who would have been better than the person who got the part? Thousands.
Albert Brooks
