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I'm not a person who I ever thought would do well with divorce. Not that it can't happen. I just didn't want that. So I waited a long time to meet the right person. Then I finally met someone that I was willing to be divorced from.

Albert Brooks

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Albert Brooks
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Beverly Hills
California
Albert Lawrence Brooks
Albert Lawrence Einstein
A. Brooks
Long
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Thought
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More quotes by Albert Brooks

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If I'm going to act in someone's movie, I want the movie to be interesting and be able to get a couple of solid doubles.
Albert Brooks
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What naturally stops you making the film is there is no more money in the budget. That's really what it is. If you had an unlimited budget, if you were a billionaire and you financed your own movies, then you can either date, because you can sit in an editing room for six years, like Howard Hughes, and never finish anything.
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Someone asked me what do you think of Donald Trump? And I said, I would rather vote for Hillary Clinton in jail. If she gets convicted, I'll vote for her for president.
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There's nothing funny about flying to Houston.
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Being a screenwriter in Hollywood is like being a eunuch at an orgy. Worse, actually, at least the eunuch is allowed to watch.
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I got so good at writing to a budget, my brain was restricting myself. I'd write, It's a stormy night. Then I'd cross out stormy. I'd write: It's a calm night. Then I'd cross out night. It's noon. Because you know how much night costs. You know how much rain costs. Nothing comes free in movies.
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You know, when cameras are rolling, improvisation doesn't feel natural. The pressure is too great. You're on a time schedule. You've got 60 crewmen.
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I can't not put humor in a book.
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I like movies about failing.
Albert Brooks
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If you look at the best-seller list for American fiction, they're all sequels to detective stories or stories about hunting serial killers. That's what's called American fiction these days.
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Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive?
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My friend Harry Nilsson used to say the definition of an artist was someone who rode way ahead of the herd and was sort of the lookout. Now you don't have to be that, to be an artist. You can be right smack-dab in the middle of the herd. If you are, you'll be the richest.
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Nothing surprises me. After Donald Trump, nothing matters, does it?
Albert Brooks
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There's always the standard six people you can hire that have played all these villains in Hollywood. Instinctively, when they come on screen, you know what's going to happen. You don't know the story, but you know what they do.
Albert Brooks
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Film is the cheapest part of the movie making process. The expense is the 100-man crew and the financing and everything.
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I've always been the king of silence. I've always been a minimalist comedian. I've taken my influence from Jack Benny, who was the king of that I've always done 'less is more.'
Albert Brooks
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Acceptance is going to a restaurant where the salad's not great, but the steak is fine.
Albert Brooks
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When I went to acting school, the kids that got the best grades were the kids that could cry on cue. But it didn't really translate into careers for any of them, because the external is the easy part.
Albert Brooks
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You can equate acting to a tennis game: When you're playing one of the best, you get better.
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You always got to be happy when somebody likes what you do. It's stupid not to be happy.
Albert Brooks