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When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up.

Albert Brooks

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Albert Brooks
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Beverly Hills
California
Albert Lawrence Brooks
Albert Lawrence Einstein
A. Brooks
Dies
Thong
Word
Thongs
Firsts
Obituary
First
Screwed
Sentence
Appears
Sentences
Second

More quotes by Albert Brooks

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For the most part, improvising while cameras are rolling is very difficult. 99% of people you should never ask to do that, because they're under pressure, the clock is running, 80 people are staring at you...it's always unnatural.
Albert Brooks
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I've always liked to think ahead. Not stupid-far ahead. A hundred years doesn't interest me. But 20 years interests me, and more for what happens to humans as opposed to things.
Albert Brooks
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Getting older is a lot of fun. Right up there with chewing glass or putting your hand in a blender.
Albert Brooks
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You make friends with older people and you always feel young no matter what.
Albert Brooks
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So I think if you're happy with your brain, you're powerful.
Albert Brooks
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I don't think the goal is, 'How big a star did you ever become?' I think the goal is, 'Were you able to express yourself?'
Albert Brooks
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As an actor, if you're just sitting and staring and you don't know who you are in your own mind, it's vacant. And sometimes the camera is an X-ray machine, it can pick it up.
Albert Brooks
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I'm not a person who I ever thought would do well with divorce. Not that it can't happen. I just didn't want that. So I waited a long time to meet the right person. Then I finally met someone that I was willing to be divorced from.
Albert Brooks
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If you look at the best-seller list for American fiction, they're all sequels to detective stories or stories about hunting serial killers. That's what's called American fiction these days.
Albert Brooks
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The world really changed after 9/11, not just in the tragic way, but in every way. So it took me a couple of years to even understand how my art form I could process any of this. When the world changed, eliciting laughter with subjects that were funny to me before 9/11 just didnt seem good enough.
Albert Brooks
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You always got to be happy when somebody likes what you do. It's stupid not to be happy.
Albert Brooks
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When I audition, I understand what it takes and the insecurities that come with it. If I do anything, I put actors at ease. I used to tell directors who weren't actors, the best thing they could do was take an acting class for a couple of months. Just to understand.
Albert Brooks
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Your spouse should be just attractive enough to turn you on. Anything more is trouble.
Albert Brooks
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You know, I became a director out of necessity. I was writing comedies, and I couldn't find anybody to deliver it correctly.
Albert Brooks
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I've always been the king of silence. I've always been a minimalist comedian. I've taken my influence from Jack Benny, who was the king of that I've always done 'less is more.'
Albert Brooks
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I've always felt like I work in a small little area that doesn't represent anything like the rest of society.
Albert Brooks
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What naturally stops you making the film is there is no more money in the budget. That's really what it is. If you had an unlimited budget, if you were a billionaire and you financed your own movies, then you can either date, because you can sit in an editing room for six years, like Howard Hughes, and never finish anything.
Albert Brooks
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I've done performances in movies that I was immensely proud of and the movies didn't take off like a rocket at Cape Canaveral, it didn't take off.
Albert Brooks
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I don't experience basic human emotions. It's not my thing.
Albert Brooks
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Nothing surprises me. After Donald Trump, nothing matters, does it?
Albert Brooks