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When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up.
Albert Brooks
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Albert Brooks
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Beverly Hills
California
Albert Lawrence Brooks
Albert Lawrence Einstein
A. Brooks
Word
Thongs
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Obituary
First
Screwed
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Second
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Thong
More quotes by Albert Brooks
What's interesting about books that take place in the future, even twenty years in the future, is that many of them are black or white: It's either a utopia or it's misery. The real truth is that there's going to be both things in any future, just like there is now.
Albert Brooks
I've seen the future! It's a bald-headed man from New York!
Albert Brooks
Nothing surprises me. After Donald Trump, nothing matters, does it?
Albert Brooks
I'm a big consumer of news and I have my six newspaper sites booked. And what I like bout Twitter is it's almost, it allows me to make a comment about something that's just on my mind.
Albert Brooks
One of the things I like about a character: I always think it's fascinating when a character can turn on a dime and go from one emotion to another. I like watching that.
Albert Brooks
Being a screenwriter in Hollywood is like being a eunuch at an orgy. Worse, actually, at least the eunuch is allowed to watch.
Albert Brooks
I don't experience basic human emotions. It's not my thing.
Albert Brooks
Steven Spielberg seems to have wanted to be a director from 13. He put his dog in a certain position and made him eat at four o'clock. He liked to direct it. But, to me, directing is tedious. Especially if you're acting in it. And I'm inherently lazy.
Albert Brooks
I was in Kashmir last weekend. Went to visit one of my sweaters.
Albert Brooks
You make friends with older people and you always feel young no matter what.
Albert Brooks
Be generous and you can be the best person who ever lived.
Albert Brooks
In my screenplays - from the very beginning I've always used tape. I talk my screenplays. And then have somebody transcribe them.
Albert Brooks
I can't not put humor in a book.
Albert Brooks
I'm not a person who I ever thought would do well with divorce. Not that it can't happen. I just didn't want that. So I waited a long time to meet the right person. Then I finally met someone that I was willing to be divorced from.
Albert Brooks
I've always liked to think ahead. Not stupid-far ahead. A hundred years doesn't interest me. But 20 years interests me, and more for what happens to humans as opposed to things.
Albert Brooks
If you want to be a writer, just write. There's no magic to it.
Albert Brooks
Relaxation is the absence of worry.
Albert Brooks
Excited about Black Friday. Also excited about Jew Tuesday.
Albert Brooks
I take anything other than 'you big pig!' as a compliment.
Albert Brooks
Fear is like a giant fog. It sits on your brain and blocks everything - real feelings, true happiness, real joy. They can't get through that fog. But you lift it, and buddy, you're in for the ride of your life.
Albert Brooks