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When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up.

Albert Brooks

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Albert Brooks
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Beverly Hills
California
Albert Lawrence Brooks
Albert Lawrence Einstein
A. Brooks
Dies
Thong
Word
Thongs
Firsts
Obituary
First
Screwed
Sentence
Appears
Sentences
Second

More quotes by Albert Brooks

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I don't know that I can define fear. But one of the sources of fear is holding up some sort of model life that doesn't exist and feeling like you're far away from it.
Albert Brooks
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I come from the place where I am thinking 'I have put my blood on the pages.'
Albert Brooks
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Bullfights are hugely popular because you can sit comfortably with a hot dog and possibly watch a man die. It wont be me, but I can sit comfortably and watch it.
Albert Brooks
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Someone asked me what do you think of Donald Trump? And I said, I would rather vote for Hillary Clinton in jail. If she gets convicted, I'll vote for her for president.
Albert Brooks
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Movies are an expensive business.
Albert Brooks
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I was in Kashmir last weekend. Went to visit one of my sweaters.
Albert Brooks
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I have children. I have a family to support. But I really could live in a one-room apartment, as long as the television worked. I never needed anything. Just a comfortable chair and I'm fine.
Albert Brooks
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So I think if you're happy with your brain, you're powerful.
Albert Brooks
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In my screenplays - from the very beginning I've always used tape. I talk my screenplays. And then have somebody transcribe them.
Albert Brooks
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You make friends with older people and you always feel young no matter what.
Albert Brooks
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I don't think the goal is, 'How big a star did you ever become?' I think the goal is, 'Were you able to express yourself?'
Albert Brooks
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'Drive' came to me because the casting director knew my manager and called and said, 'You've always talked to me about Albert wanting to play the heavy. I think he should read this.' My ears just perked up.
Albert Brooks
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You know, when cameras are rolling, improvisation doesn't feel natural. The pressure is too great. You're on a time schedule. You've got 60 crewmen.
Albert Brooks
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I like movies about failing.
Albert Brooks
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There's nothing funny about flying to Houston.
Albert Brooks
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All improv turns into anger. All comedy improv basically turns into anger, because that's all people know how to do when they're improvising. If you notice shows that are improvising are generally people yelling at each other.
Albert Brooks
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I never wanted to be a director.
Albert Brooks
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I'm not a person who I ever thought would do well with divorce. Not that it can't happen. I just didn't want that. So I waited a long time to meet the right person. Then I finally met someone that I was willing to be divorced from.
Albert Brooks
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Steven Spielberg seems to have wanted to be a director from 13. He put his dog in a certain position and made him eat at four o'clock. He liked to direct it. But, to me, directing is tedious. Especially if you're acting in it. And I'm inherently lazy.
Albert Brooks
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I've done performances in movies that I was immensely proud of and the movies didn't take off like a rocket at Cape Canaveral, it didn't take off.
Albert Brooks