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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.
Alan King
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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
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More quotes by Alan King
When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.
Alan King
Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
Alan King
My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
Alan King
When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.
Alan King
The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have? I said, Fire and theft. The lawyer frowned. Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.
Alan King
I was a high school throw-out.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
Alan King
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.
Alan King
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
Alan King
My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
Alan King
When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
Alan King
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
Alan King
I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.
Alan King
You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
Alan King
My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'
Alan King
There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'
Alan King
Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
Alan King