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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Decide
Dinner
Morning
Going

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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
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I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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I had a sympathetic role in 'thirtysomething,' and in two weeks I'm going to do the role again. But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It's much more fun. Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
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As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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