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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Decide
Dinner
Morning
Going

More quotes by Alan King

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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
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One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
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It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.
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I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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I had a sympathetic role in 'thirtysomething,' and in two weeks I'm going to do the role again. But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It's much more fun. Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.
Alan King
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As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.
Alan King
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
Alan King
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The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have? I said, Fire and theft. The lawyer frowned. Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.
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