Quote

If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.

Alan King

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Currents
Alive
Funny
Keep
Current

More quotes by Alan King

Image
Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
Alan King
Image
Modesty is not one of my virtues.
Alan King
Image
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
Alan King
Image
Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
Alan King
Image
My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.
Alan King
Image
One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
Alan King
Image
Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex, it's more fun with someone who really likes it. I can't imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
Alan King
Image
The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have? I said, Fire and theft. The lawyer frowned. Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.
Alan King
Image
If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
Alan King
Image
My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'
Alan King
Image
There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'
Alan King
Image
That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.
Alan King
Image
Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
Alan King
Image
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
Alan King
Image
When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
Alan King
Image
When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.
Alan King
Image
Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
Alan King
Image
As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
Alan King
Image
As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.
Alan King
Image
I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
Alan King