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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Current
Currents
Alive
Funny
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More quotes by Alan King

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My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.
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I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank.
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Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
Alan King
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One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'
Alan King
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As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.
Alan King
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
Alan King
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
Alan King
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
Alan King
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It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
Alan King
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There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
Alan King
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
Alan King
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I had a sympathetic role in 'thirtysomething,' and in two weeks I'm going to do the role again. But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It's much more fun. Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
Alan King