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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
Alan King
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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Current
Currents
Alive
Funny
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More quotes by Alan King
My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
Alan King
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
Alan King
And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
Alan King
Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
Alan King
My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.
Alan King
I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.
Alan King
Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank.
Alan King
Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
Alan King
One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
Alan King
When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.
Alan King
Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
Alan King
My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'
Alan King
As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.
Alan King
My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
Alan King
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
Alan King
Modesty is not one of my virtues.
Alan King
It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
Alan King
There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
Alan King
If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
Alan King
I had a sympathetic role in 'thirtysomething,' and in two weeks I'm going to do the role again. But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It's much more fun. Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
Alan King