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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
Alan King
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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Current
Currents
Alive
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More quotes by Alan King
I was a high school throw-out.
Alan King
The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
Alan King
I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.
Alan King
When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
Alan King
My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.
Alan King
I had a sympathetic role in 'thirtysomething,' and in two weeks I'm going to do the role again. But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It's much more fun. Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
Alan King
Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
Alan King
Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank.
Alan King
If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
Alan King
That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.
Alan King
You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
Alan King
The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
Alan King
Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex, it's more fun with someone who really likes it. I can't imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
Alan King
There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
Alan King
Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
Alan King
And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
Alan King
I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
Alan King
I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.
Alan King
I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
Alan King
Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
Alan King