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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
Alan King
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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Funny
Keep
Current
Currents
Alive
More quotes by Alan King
When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
Alan King
I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
Alan King
Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
Alan King
I was a high school throw-out.
Alan King
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
Alan King
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
Alan King
Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
Alan King
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
Alan King
My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
Alan King
My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'
Alan King
I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
Alan King
My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.
Alan King
The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have? I said, Fire and theft. The lawyer frowned. Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.
Alan King
Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
Alan King
And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
Alan King
I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
Alan King
You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
Alan King
My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.
Alan King
Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
Alan King
The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
Alan King