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My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
Alan King
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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
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More quotes by Alan King
I had a sympathetic role in 'thirtysomething,' and in two weeks I'm going to do the role again. But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It's much more fun. Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
Alan King
My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
Alan King
And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
Alan King
One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
Alan King
If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
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As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.
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My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have? I said, Fire and theft. The lawyer frowned. Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.
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I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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