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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
Alan King
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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Saturday
Favorite
Bed
Watching
Eating
Spend
Sports
Way
More quotes by Alan King
I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
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As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have? I said, Fire and theft. The lawyer frowned. Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'
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Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
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That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.
Alan King
