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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Watching
Eating
Spend
Sports
Way
Saturday
Favorite
Bed

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Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.
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One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.
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My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.
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My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'
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There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.
Alan King
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.
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