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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Saturday
Favorite
Bed
Watching
Eating
Spend
Sports
Way

More quotes by Alan King

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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.
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Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.
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One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
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As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.
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I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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