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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
Alan King
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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Favorite
Bed
Watching
Eating
Spend
Sports
Way
Saturday
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex, it's more fun with someone who really likes it. I can't imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have? I said, Fire and theft. The lawyer frowned. Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
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I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'
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My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
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