Quote

As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Second
Food
Thickly
Pleasure
Salami
Better
Sliced
Life
Pleasures
Eggs
Sex
Except

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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.
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It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
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As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank.
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I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have? I said, Fire and theft. The lawyer frowned. Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.
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My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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