Quote

As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Life
Pleasures
Eggs
Sex
Except
Second
Food
Thickly
Pleasure
Salami
Better
Sliced

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If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
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As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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