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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
People
Birthday
Getting
Tell
Look
Looks
Good

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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.
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My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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I was a high school throw-out.
Alan King
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There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'
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One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex, it's more fun with someone who really likes it. I can't imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
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