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One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Restaurants
Dinner
Whole
Thing
Never
Life
Restaurant
Japanese

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My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank.
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It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
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My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.
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