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One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Restaurants
Dinner
Whole
Thing
Never
Life
Restaurant
Japanese

More quotes by Alan King

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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have? I said, Fire and theft. The lawyer frowned. Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.
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I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex, it's more fun with someone who really likes it. I can't imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
Alan King